Unexpected Encounters

Chapter 41

Gabbie wrapped both of her arms around me as I stood there and continued to let the tears fall from my eyes. I heard the door open a minute later and I momentarily looked up to see Kaia walking in.

"Woah, woah, woah," she said as she came over to us, "who do I need to go kill?"

"No one," I said in a muffled voice, my head still against Gabbie's shoulder.

"Doesn't really appear that way," Kaia said, "what's going on?"

I could feel Gabbie shrug in response, and I slowly brought my head up and wiped my eyes. She let her arms fall as I took a step back and took a deep breath.

"I don't really - I don't know," I mumbled, "talking to Whitney again it just - everything that's happened seemed to kind of hit me at once."

"And then it started to feel like I was right back where I was a couple of years ago," I continued, "and - I don't know, I can't fucking do this."

I went over and slumped down on to the couch as I wiped my eyes again with my sleeve. Gabbie and Kaia came and joined me and we sat there in silence.

After a few minutes, Gabbie cautiously spoke up.

"Bailey do you maybe think um, you should figure out another way to finish up your TA stuff? I'm sure your advisor would help you get it all sorted out," she said.

"And what am I supposed to tell him is my reasoning for wanting to do that?" I asked, "can't exactly say, hey I was sleeping with my professor and she broke my fucking heart so I don't want to see her again."

"Okay well when you say it that way," Gabbie mumbled, "I guess you do have a point."

"We only have two meetings left," I said, "I can handle it."

"No offense Bailey," Kaia said, "but it doesn't really appear that you can."

I shot her a look out of the corner of my eye and she held her hands up defensively. She did have a point.

"I don't really know what other options I have," I said, "I'm sure the last two will be easier for me."

I really wasn't sure that they would be, but I had to get this finished up somehow.

"It's not fair to you though," Gabbie said, "there has to be some other option. Even if it's just two more meetings...we don't want to see you like this."

Kaia nodded in agreement as I looked between the two of them.

"Look," I sighed, "I don't know what happened today, but maybe I got it out of my system, I don't know. I just want to get this over with so I don't have to see her anymore."

"You really think it's done, done between the two of you, huh?" Kaia asked.

"I think so," I said quietly, "and even if it's not, I can't even think about that possibility right now, I don't want to get my hopes up."

"Well I wish that we could think of something to get you out of these last couple of weeks," Gabbie said.

"I um, I'll be fine," I responded, "I'm just going to have to make sure that we only talk about work stuff. She asked me if I was doing okay today and that's kind of when it went downhill."

"You better make that clear to her then," Kaia said, "even though she should know better."

"It's not her fault," I said, "she was just trying to check on me."

"Bailey I know you've got it bad for the girl, but don't cut her that much slack," Kaia responded, "if she's deciding not to give the two of you another chance then she should know that something like that isn't going to go over very well."

"Yeah I - I guess you're kind of right," I sighed, "I didn't really see it that way."

"Maybe you could just text her or something before your next meeting," Gabbie said, "tell her you want to make sure to keep it strictly business."

I nodded slowly as I wiped away the last of the tears from my face. Gabbie reached around and gently patted me on the back before resting her arm there.

"Jesus I don't know how I'd survive without you two," I said.

"We are pretty great, aren't we?" Kaia asked teasingly.

"I'm trying to be nice, don't push your luck," I said as I glanced over at her.

"Just sayin'," she shrugged.

I grinned at her as her and Gabbie started to laugh. I really was lucky to have them.

                                      ***

On the night before my next meeting with Whitney, I took my phone out and hesitantly started to type a message to her. I didn't want to say anything, but I also didn't want to end up a panicked mess like I was after our last one.

I typed it out a few times and then deleted it  before I finally decided to hit send.

"Can we make sure there's not talk about anything but work these last two weeks?"

I set my phone down next to me, but it didn't take long for her to respond.

"Yeah, sure...and sorry about last week, I was just worried. Won't happen again though."

I felt like she wasn't allowed to be worried about me when she was the one that was causing the majority of my pain. I understood where she was coming from, but it didn't seem fair.

As complicated as our relationship had been, I really thought she would want to give it another chance once I had explained everything to her.

I wanted more of an explanation, but I didn't have it in me to ask. Maybe someday.

                                       ***

Thankfully I survived the rest of the semester without any more breakdowns, but it still wasn't easy. Seeing Whitney at all felt like torture.

I couldn't remember ever feeling this strongly about someone, and there wasn't anything I could do about it.

I went to turn all of the papers in on my last day with her, and I took a deep breath before walking in the door.

Last time I had to do this, thank God.

"That should be everything," I said as I set them on her desk.

"Okay, thanks," she nodded.

"Yup..." I mumbled before walking towards the door.

"See you later Bailey," she said before I left.

I briefly turned around and gave her an awkward wave.

"Bye Whitney."

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