Unexpected Encounters

Chapter 32

I took another deep breath as I started to walk back to my apartment to get my car. I got in and drove the few minutes over to Whitney's house and continued to try and calm my nerves down.

I had fucked up, and I felt bad. I was also still angry, I wanted to go back and find McKenzie and beat the shit out of her. She was always doing shit like this, but this one probably took the cake.

I pulled up out front of Whitney's house and walked up to the door. I put my hand up to knock but she quickly opened it before I could and I stepped inside.

"Fuck that was bad," I immediately said.

"Ya think?" Whitney said with a sigh.

"Yeah, sorry, I know that was my fault," I said as I glanced up at her.

"Well you got us out of it," she said, "so I don't think I can be too mad."

"Except you shouldn't have gone after McKenzie like that," she continued.

"Come on, can you blame me?" I asked.

"No," she shook her head, "but still."

"I know," I said as I leaned against the door, "I can't help it with her."

"Well it's done now," Whitney responded, "but we obviously need to be even more careful."

"Right," I said with a sigh, "but hey, at least we can still hook up."

Whitney looked up at me and her gaze quickly turned dark.

"Still hook up?" She asked angrily.

"Yeah..." I said hesitantly, "am I wrong or?"

"Jesus Bailey," she snapped back, "is that really still all that you see this as? Is us hooking up?"

"Well, yeah I -" I started.

"I've been risking my fucking job for this, for us," she cut me off, "and that's - that's all this is to you?"

"Yeah I - I don't know, okay?" I said as I started to feel myself panic.

"You don't know?" Whitney asked as she raised her eyebrows at me, "are you really telling me that you fought that hard to get me when you were never planning on it being anything more than us just fucking around?"

"No but -" I started.

Whitney watched as she waited for me to answer and I covered my face with my hands. I was feeling way too overwhelmed.

"Fuck I can't do this," I mumbled.

"I'm not doing all of this, going through all of this shit, if that's really all you can say to me," Whitney said as she raised her voice.

I let my hands fall and I looked at her and sighed, I didn't know what to say.

"I'm not a fucking child any more Bailey," she continued, "I don't go around sleeping with people all of the time just for the hell of it."

I gave her a surprised look and made sure that I'd heard her correctly. I knew she was mad, but that was fucking harsh.

"So that's all that you think I do, huh?" I asked her.

"You haven't been able to prove otherwise!" She retorted.

"Yeah I'm not fucking dealing with this," I said as I shook my head, "I don't need to listen to you tell me how terrible I am."

I turned around and grabbed on to the door handle, but I felt Whitney's hand on mine before I could leave.

"Wait," she said as she took a deep breath, "that's not what I meant."

"You've made it pretty clear that it is actually," I said as I shook myself free from her grip.

I opened the door and walked out before she had a chance to say anything else. I was done with this conversation.

I got out to my car and sped off towards the apartment. I was pissed, I was sad, I was confused, and this was fucked up.

I knew that the slip up was my fault, but fuck Whitney's comments had been brutal.

I got home and slammed the door shut behind me and walked straight back to my room. I wasn't even sure if Gabbie and Kaia were home, I just needed to be left alone for a while.

I threw my bag on to the floor and fell back on to my bed as I stared up at the ceiling. This is part of the reason why I didn't like to mess with relationships or get feelings involved.

Something stupid like this always had to happen.

"Bailey?" I heard Gabbie say as she quietly knocked on my door, "can we come in?"

"No," I sighed, "I need a minute, I'll be out later."

"Okay," she said, "let us know if you need anything."

I needed to be able to go back and keep my fucking mouth shut is what I needed.

I didn't know what giving myself a few minutes was going to do, but I knew I wasn't ready to face Gabbie and Kaia quite yet.

I needed to calm down.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to forget everything that had just happened, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Why couldn't I just admit to Whitney that I had feelings for her and that it felt like way more than a hookup?

I honestly knew why, but I was still having a hard time admitting that to myself too.

After I'd had a while to myself, I got up and slowly walked out into the living room where Gabbie and Kaia were sitting and talking.

"Hey," Gabbie quickly said as I sat down, "are you okay?"

They both gave me a pitying look and I shook my head as I curled my legs up in front of me.

"No," I sighed, "not really, but I will be eventually."

"What happened?" Kaia asked hesitantly.

"I don't even know where to start honestly," I said as I rested my chin on my knees in front of me.

"Is it...is it Whitney?" Gabbie asked like she was scared to know the answer, "or did something else happen?"

I sat there for a minute before I could answer. I wanted to be able to talk about this without getting too upset, but I knew that was going to be hard.

"It's Whitney, it's McKenzie, it's me," I finally said, "fucking all of the above."

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