Unexpected Encounters

Chapter 40

Once the weekend was over, I tried to mentally prepare myself to see Whitney again. Maybe she would just leave something on her desk for me and I wouldn't actually have to face her.

Probably not, but I could hope.

I got ready and walked out to the kitchen to make breakfast and coffee.

"So how exactly is this going to work?" Gabbie asked as she joined me.

"I'm not really sure," I sighed, "she told me she'd just give me some work to do, but I could go work on it somewhere else, I wouldn't have to hang around in her office or anything."

"Well that doesn't seem too bad then," she said.

"Maybe not," I said, "still have to see her and talk to her though."

"God damn it," I continued as I rubbed my eyes, "why is this the person that I actually had to have feelings for."

"Because sometimes love is cruel," Gabbie said dramatically as she grinned at me.

"Shut the hell up," I said as I tried to hide my smile.

"It is though," she said pointedly, "just saying."

"Won't argue with you there I guess," I shrugged, "anyway I better get going."

"Good luck," she told me as I left.

I tried to walk slowly over to Whitney's office, but I knew I was only delaying the inevitable. How was I supposed to act normal around someone who had essentially ripped my heart out just a few days earlier?

Her door was open when I got there, and I peeked my head in and quietly knocked. My pulse immediately quickened when her dark eyes looked up and met mine.

"Hey Bailey," she said, "come in."

"Hey," I mumbled.

This was already torture.

"I have some stuff you can go work on," she said as she picked up a stack of papers and held them out to me, "you can go out in the lounge area if you want to."

"Right, sure," I said as I took them from her.

I walked out without another word from either of us, and I went to find a comfortable place to sit. There was an area with a few couches and chairs right outside of her office, and I got settled in and started to work.

It wasn't terrible once I got started, but I was still finding it hard to focus. It took me longer than normal to finish, but once I did I was very thankful to be done.

I brought the papers back to Whitney and set them on her desk.

"Thanks," she said as she continued to work on her computer.

"Yeah," I sighed, "no problem."

I went to leave, but her voice stopped me.

"Hey Bailey," she said.

I turned back around and faced her, looking at her expectantly.

"Are you uh," she paused, "are you doing okay?"

I couldn't help but laugh at her question, did she really think that I was?

"Sure," I said, "I'm fine."

"You don't sound very convincing," she said quietly.

"I don't know what you want me to say Whitney," I sighed, "I understand why all of this happened but it doesn't mean that I'm okay with it."

"I know but -" she hesitated, "I meant if you were doing okay with the whole - you know..."

I walked back over towards her desk and put my hands on the back of the chair in front of me.

"If you want to know if I'm on any drugs you can just ask me," I said quietly.

"I didn't - " she started.

"Yes you did," I said, cutting her off, "just come out with it next time."

"Bailey," she said, "come on, I'm actually concerned about you."

"I know," I nodded, "and I appreciate that, but I'm being serious, if you want to know...just ask."

"Well it didn't feel right to just ask you that," she said.

"You know who I live with," I responded, "I'm used to being asked that by now."

"I guess that's probably true," she sighed, "but it still didn't feel right."

"Well to answer your question," I said, "yes I'm doing fine with 'that whole thing,' but there's no reason for you to be concerned with me anymore. I have Gabbie and Kaia for that."

"I'm still allowed to make sure you're okay Bailey," she said quietly.

"I didn't say you weren't allowed, I said you didn't have to," I responded, "it's nothing that should be worrying you now."

"Well it does," she said as she looked up at me.

"Suit yourself," I shrugged as I walked towards the door again, "but if you're going to be concerned about me, you've got a long road ahead of you."

Whitney watched me as I left, but she didn't say anything else. I knew she was being genuine, but if we weren't going to be together, I couldn't continue to have these conversations with her. It was way too hard.

If anything was going to drive me to do something that I shouldn't again, this would be it. I needed to get home and get my mind on something else.

I walked back to my apartment much faster than I had walked to my meeting. When I got back, Gabbie and Kaia weren't home yet.

"Fuck," I mumbled to myself.

I needed them here to distract me.

I put my bag down and found myself pacing back and forth between the living room and the kitchen. Talking to Whitney had triggered me, and I needed to get my shit together before I did something that I'd regret.

I heard the door open as I walked towards the noise, and thankfully saw Gabbie come inside.

"Hey," she said as she gave me a concerned look, "you good?"

"Yeah I - no, I'm not sure," I said.

"Talking to Whitney just - it's not good for me," I continued.

"Well that's understandable," she said as she came over to me.

I kept pacing back and forth in front of her, and she reached out and grabbed on to my arm.

"Bailey," she said, "you're okay, take a deep breath."

I stopped in front of her and closed my eyes as I breathed in through my nose and slowly exhaled. I don't think that I'd realized how much Whitney and I's conversation had impacted me until after I left.

I felt like it had suddenly pulled me back to when I was having all of the issues with my ex, and I didn't like it.

Gabbie put her arm around my shoulders and I leaned against her, feeling myself about to break down.

All of my emotions that I'd been trying to suppressed seemed like they were coming to the surface. I buried my face in her shoulder as I felt the tears start to roll down my face.

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