Drifting in the Space of Ramblings

Ramblings About Romance

Romance is when you want to have something with a woman, and your expectations rise a notch above; your life changes completely from that point on.

Most people are not prepared to start a romance; they are selfish, and you have to give up a lot for the sake of the other person. Selfishness is the main point that needs to be fought. Respect, affection, sexual attraction, companionship are all crucial points, but unfortunately, there is no person who completes another one hundred percent; something will always be missing, there will always be another person who seems better.

Romance is different from love; love comes later.

During the romance, you need to worry if you are happy with the other person, then you must ask yourself later if you would be more or less happy without her. It's complicated because you need to understand where you want to go together. I never managed to come to a coherent answer about these things.

Sometimes I thought I was happy with what I had, only to later think I was the unhappiest man in the world. Then came the end of the relationship, and it seemed like the world had ended; I missed her as I still do today. Some people said I had too soft a heart, that I exaggerated too much in breakups. I drank, cried, and spent sleepless nights thinking...

Is it night in my city down below?

Should I be sleeping according to my time zone?

I'm not sleepy; I feel as if I had just ended a relationship... Actually, my death will end my pre-relationship that never fully materialized. Rachel is down there, and I feel as if we had broken up.

Whenever I ended something, the pain of never seeing the person again was very strong, often an unreal feeling, but now with my death, nothing is more real than the feeling that I will never see anyone again.

I would like to apologize for every moment I was selfish and hurt someone; it was never my intention. I hurt myself more than I could bear at times.

Romances make our lives more interesting, but they make us worse people in some way. Negative feelings are part of positive feelings at the same time.

Affection, contempt, respect, possession, companionship, argument, esteem, resentment, happiness, loneliness.

Romance is all this and much more mixed with a touch of melancholy.

I wanted to be happy and nothing more; many times I almost succeeded, but life catches you off guard when you least expect it.

Life was good with each of them...

... And it was worse without each of them.