Ramblings About Desire

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If I had one wish right now, it would be to go back in time and talk to myself about fifteen years ago. I would warn myself about several things.

"Don't go out with her," I would say, "she will make you suffer."

"Don't do that to her," I would say, "it will hurt both you and her, and you don't deserve that."

"Stop worrying so much about this kind of stupid thing, you will get to the future and realize that you just wasted time thinking about it."

"She will hate this birthday present and will exchange it for two pairs of pants at the same store two days later."

"You think you're alone now?" I would give a sarcastic smile, "Wait and see in a few years..."

"Attach safety cable 1, release safety cable 2," I would shout in my own ear, "Never forget this, this is the most important of all."

Yes, I would like to be able to warn myself about a few things, that would be my ultimate wish, to travel in time. I wouldn't be dying now because I would have taken utmost care to attach safety cable 1 and only then release safety cable 2. I would have been careful because I would have warned myself about the accident, I could live longer.

"Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!"

According to Schrödinger, I can be dead and alive at the same time now, I can be a paradox, because no one in the universe knows my real condition.

I am the cat inside the box. Alive and dead. Dead and alive at the same time.

I feel like a living being, I ponder my life and the important matters that were part of it, I think, therefore I am.

I remain inert like a dead person, nothing I do matters anymore. Thinking, talking, or listening make no difference, I don't interfere with anything in the universe.

Maybe I am alive in another universe. I didn't get distracted with the safety cables in a parallel reality, and I am safe at the space station. I will go back and live my life. Schrödinger's cat splits the universe into two possibilities, and the universe continues to exist with these two different possibilities. The cat is alive in one universe, and the cat is dead in another.

I will survive in another universe and die in this one, maybe the secret of life is exactly this. We live our life completely, each choice we make allows us to split the universe and experience our lives with both possible choices. So, when we die in all the parallel universes, our consciousness joins into one, and we will know what the consequences of each choice were.

I will die now, but I remain alive. When all my "selves" are truly dead, I will know what it was like to die in space or to grow old with children.

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