Book 2 to The Summer of Love & Heartbreak. Go read that first.
She survived the night- or did she? She wakes up a changed person after she couldn't save Billy. How will she keep going on? Move on without him?
Her pain is like the wind; uncontrollab...
Todays the day I wish I never had to see. The day we bury Billy into the ground. The day where everything feels to close to home and is ripping at those still healing wounds.
The day started out with me barely getting any sleep, thanks to the book I was reading. It was a copy of Lord of The Rings, Eddie left it here the last time he spent the night here. He's probably going to be mad that I finished the book without him. I'd rather have him read it to me, but that's something I can't have right now. We both know it.
Mom came into my room bright and early, trying to wake up to start getting ready. Her face filled with sorrow, but putting on a strong face for me. She knows it'll be hard for me today. Everyone knows it'll be hard, but I finally get to see Max and see how she's holding up. Since Billy is gone now, I feel like I have to step up and watch over her like she was my little sister. I know I'm not even close to a good substitute for her after Billy, but maybe I can show her I do care for her.
The morning blurred.
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Getting showered, which hurt my ribcage where the stitches still are. They're all different shades of color. Blue, purple, green and a little bit of yellow. The dried blood on the white stitches. Hot water hurt, so I had to resort to warm water.
Mom picked out an outfit for me. A long black dress that ran a little snug, but still comfortable. It ended right before my ankles and she had me wear a cardigan with it since it had a v neck to the dress. Something to cover myself up with. She did my hair for me, brushing it, blow drying it and straightening it. I just stared at myself in the mirror while she did it. All the black against my pale skin, making me look like the walking dead.
She drove us in Steve's car to the funeral site. Steve went with us, he rode in the passenger seat wearing a nice black suit. Mom ended up wearing a dark blue dress and curled her hair. The site wasn't too far from our house, probably a 20 minute drive. It was on the other side of town. Thankfully it stopped raining early this morning, leaving the grass with a little dew and a nice warm breeze. The sun shinning with no cloud in sight, the sky matching Billy's eyes.
Once we got there, and I saw all the cars I could feel my anxiety clawing up my chest. A big part of me didn't want to get out of the car. Just hole myself up in here. But I couldn't do that. Mom smiled and had Steve help me out of the car, letting me use him as a crutch again. My leg and hip still hurt making it hard to walk and the stitched kept pulling with every step. Steve kept an arm around my waist as he slowly walked us to the crowd of people. Everyone was wearing black, tears and cries could be heard. Sniffling as the priest started talking, telling the story of Billy's life.
I let go of Steve, and stood behind a seated Max. Putting my hand on her shoulder letting her know she isn't alone in this. She glanced up to me, her eyes blood shot from all the crying and her hair in a frizzy braid. She grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers together. Her grip tight, like she was hanging onto me for dear life.
