The Spring of Love & Heartbreak

The Worst In Me

"It's about time you can see me." Billy's lips curl over those white teeth, not stained with blood anymore but back to exactly how he was that night on our first date. The same outfit, the same smell and the same look. Except this isn't real. No one can see him but me. I glance around the diner and no one is moving. The girl with the pink dress is frozen mid bite, a guy in the kitchen is mid flipping a burger. I whip my head to Eddie whose looking down to me, saying something while pointing at the menu. "You sure this isn't real?"

Billy slowly sits up, his abs flexing under him and getting off of the booth and taking slow steps to me. He tilts his head as he stands over me, his hot breath hitting my face. Mint, sea salt and cigarette smoke lingering on it. He lifts his hand, touching my jaw and making me look at him, deep into his eyes. His thumb rubbing my bottom lip, "If this isn't real how can you feel this?"

I pull back from him, "Because my mind works in fucked up ways. Go away." I look away from him hiding the tears welling in my eyes. Obviously this is another play my mind has- or maybe the mind flayer has infiltrated my mind. The doctors not getting all of it out before it took root in me. I glance up to Eddie, whose frozen in place wishing this nightmare would stop.

He sighs, and sits down next to me on my right. Eddie on my left and Billy on my right. This has to be some fucked up comedic relief to whoever is writing my life. The once who was my Angel now turned Devil sitting on my right, and the innocent guy on my left whose been picking up the pieces of my shattered heart, soul and mind. If he knew what was going on now- I bet he'd run.

"You think he'd run? Knowing you hear and now see me?" Billy says, picking up a menu and looking through it, "I wouldn't run."

I look back over to Billy, the tears falling. "Why are you doing this? Go away." I beg, my tears turning hot on my cheeks.

He finally sets the menu down, and looks over to me. "Why wouldn't I do this?" He looks confused, then looks over to Eddie. "Why are you with that freak?"

"Freak?" I ask now confused, "Eddie?"

"Yeah him." Billy rolls his eyes, "Seems like a downgrade from me if you're wondering."

"You are dead." I deadpan at him, watching his jaw flex.

Billy shakes his head and then grabs my wrist. "If I'm so dead," He puts my hand on his chest. It's warm and I can feel his heart beating underneath his skin. "Then why is my heart beating, why am I warm to the touch?"

I sigh, "It doesn't matter. It seems I'm the only one that can see you." I pull my hand out of his grasp. "I was a wreck after you died, I'm still grieving and trying to move on from you. It's what you would want, isn't it? Me to be happy?"

Billy chokes, "With Munson? Fuck no. Why him?"

"Beca-." I start but Billy puts up his hand.

"Because he was there for everything I did right? All the bad shit I did? Through all of those memories of your school- the torture and the powers?" Billy's voice is so deep but hurt. "You think I wouldn't of stuck by your side through all of that too?"

I drop my head in defeat, close my eyes and inhale slowly through my nose. "Maybe. But the fact is you weren't there. It's my fault that you got taken anyways. Wrong place, wrong time. Everything happens for a reason. If you weren't taken I would've never remembered about my school, about my powers or any of that."

Billy leans across me and grabs my glass of water, taking a swig of it. More like drinking the whole thing in one gulp before setting it down and wiping his face with the back of his hand. "True. Wrong place wrong time. But would it of been that bad if you never remembered any of that?"