Cod Oneshots

Im Tired Simon

You had a traumatic upbringing which left you with troubling mental health issues. 

Only ghost knew about your struggles as you two had grown close over the years in TF141.

You and ghost sat on the base rooftop debriefing after a tough few weeks. 

Ghost was reminiscing his first army days when you interrupted "I just dont really plan on being here that long" Ghost wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you away from the rooftop edge "well I plan on staying for as long as you need me".

"But what if i dont want to need you" i whispered "What if-"

"you're not going anywhere" he retorted, pulling you back into his chest. the sudden movement made your head spin for a moment, your heart thumping faster. ghost glanced down at you, taking in your tired face and messy hair.

"you look tired" ghost stated with a hint of humour, brushing loose strands away from your face.

"I feel tired" i murmured "I've had enough Ghost"

he knew what you meant. he knew you were exhausted - both physically and mentally. he placed a protective hand against the small of your back, pulling you closer against him.

"just relax" he said in a low voice, his breath tickling your ear as he spoke. "let me look after you for once"

"I dont need looking after...im not sick im not...useless" i muttered.

"never said you were" he replied, his voice low and stern. his grip on you tightened as he held you close.

"and you're not useless - far from it. you're one of the strongest people I know" his lips were close to your ear now as he spoke, his breath warm against your skin

"Your just saying that" i shrugged him off taking a step away "You dont mean it"

his expression hardened, eyes narrowing at your sudden distance. usually, he didn't take offence to your coldness - but this time, it stung a little.

"stop it" he scolded, reaching out to pull you back into his chest. "you know damn well that I don't just say things I don't mean"

"To make people feel better, yes you do" i say "Im not....im not strong, im not brave i am-"

"you are" he said firmly, forcing you to look up at him. "you are stronger and braver than most people I've met - including myself."

his hand moved up to your chin, gently tilting your head up further so you had nowhere to look but his maskless face.

"you go through hell, and you come out of it kicking and screaming...how is that not strength?"

"Thats fear" i say "Fear of having to go back, i live my life looking over my shoulder in fear i'll return to that dark fucking place again, i am scared, im a coward, i run away from my problems, that is not strength"

"bullshit" he retorts, his grip on your chin firming up to keep your gaze on him.

"you fight every day. you push back your fears and your traumas and you keep going - that's strength. it's not cowardice - it's resilience"

I scoffed "Stop feeding me empty words" i pulled my face away "I was just about to give up and you call that resilience? Your delusional"

his jaw tightened as you continued to disregard his word. he knew you were stubborn, but this was something else.

he took a step closer to you, closing the gap that you had created. his eyes locked with yours, the intense glare of them almost burning a hole in your skull.