anxiety

C20: Unpacking Memories

>> T w o M o n t h s l a t e r << (we're in July now)

I returned from my trip across multiple places with my friends, alone. my life changed after the trip, I moved out into an apartment up in Seattle with a few friends, because they cared and actually wanted to explore. my apartment had grey walls in my bedroom, my living room had a dark blue couch with black walls, my floor was Japenese cherry wood (a pink wooden floor). my kitchen was actually pretty nice, it was big with a small island and the table was smooth black wood. my bathroom had black, teal, and white walls and a bathtub with legs! it had black tree stickers on the teal parts. it had white counters, and a toilet tucked away in the corner. my room did have a normal light, but I had fairy lights all around it. my bed was close to the floor, but had the white bedframe. I had strung a peice of string from one end of my bedframe to the other. I attached Polaroid pictures of me and family an friends.

Luke and I's fight became a stupid mistake, it was late and our plan failed. so we both apologized and just did our everyday thing. cuddle, kiss, eat, and talk. though, our relationship has become quite different. we get close one moment, and then it's like I black out for the night. I don't remember what happened, but then Luke becomes all lovey-dovey on me the next morning. I wouldn't mind, I would just play along and be happy.

but lately, I have been waking up earlier than usual. I wake up to look at Twitter, and just go back to bed. tomorrow was going start off the same, Twitter, go back to bed for an hour or two, wake back up, eat breakfast in the living room watch TV on my plasma my dad gave me, finish, clean the dishes, change, work on school work, finish, and go on about my day.

I crawled into bed in my black Normal People Freak Me Out shirt, and my shorts that had little skulls on them. I had the p.j.'s because AHS was my favourite show. my black cross earrings were placed on my night stand along with my black glasses. I pulled out my MacBook Pro, and pulled up Skype.

I clicked on Luke's icon, then called him on Skype. his nose, eyes and hair only showed. he hid under the blue comforter.

"aww what's wrong?" I cooed to him.

"im sick." he mumbled.

"aww nothing american horror story can't fix, can it?" I giggled.

"no! not if my bae is here!" he squealed.

I pulled up Netflix, then went to episode 10.

"episode 10, babe?" Luke asked.

"yes, sick tree." I said.

we've been watching AFS as 'our' show. like how daredevil is mine and my dads show...like my show is...*sigh* pound puppies and my littlest pet shop and my little pony.

"okay...three...two...one!" we said together. I pressed play and we watched the show.

🎶🎶🎶

the episode ended, Luke and I were falling asleep.

"o...oka...okay! I...I lo...I love ya...g..g'night!" I said trying not to fall asleep. each word would slip away from my grasp, then make me fall asleep.

"al...alri...alright babe...love yaaaaa toooo...nnnight!" Luke slurred as he rolled over. I nodded and clicked end.

I pushed my laptop away and rolled over. I fell asleep.

🎶🎶🎶 (FILLER OK I GOT BORED)

when I woke up, it was 4:53 AM. I couldn't fall back asleep, so I went on YouTube on my phone for a change, and decided to watch BajanCanadian, LDShadowlady, IHasCupquake, StacyPlays, Joey Graceffa, and SmallishBeans. my I checked on my YouTube channel, I had 354 subscribers. I smiled. My channel had few personal videos, and A LOT of minecraft videos. I watched LDShandowlady more than the others.