Babymama

23.

Onika Maraj
Sunday Morning

I was braiding GG's hair for school tomorrow while she played on her iPad. The kids finally came back last night, and I missed them so much.

Things between me and Beyonce are... okay. I just feel like we're not doing anything but having sex and that was a problem, although I enjoyed it, I need to know what's happening.

"Ouch, Mommy," GG whined. I hadn't even hurt her; she just didn't like getting her hair done.

"No crying GG" Brielle looked up from her tablet pointing at her sister with her little ass finger.

"Leave her alone cause you're next" I told her as she shook her head no. "yes you are!" i'm not going back and forth with a two year old.

Beyonce came down with Noel who was sipping from his sippy cup acting like he was so thirsty, They both looked like they had just woken up from long nights, and I know at least one of them did.

Noel whined when he saw me reaching for me.

"She can't right now, Papa," Beyoncé said, kissing his cheek as he threw a full-blown tantrum. She took him into the kitchen and offered him different snacks. Brielle, with her greedy self, ran into the kitchen to get some too.

"I want to take the kids out Beyonce"

"Okay, where are we going?" she asks, sitting down on the couch and handing Noel and Brielle some gummies.

"No, just me and them"

"No"

"What do you mean, no?" I was confused, are they not my children as well? Here she go with this bullshit.

"I don't trust you completely with them" I had to laugh at this dumb ass bitch.

"But you trust me enough to.. okay Beyonce"

"That's different," she shrugged, popping a gummy in her mouth before handing one to the twins. Their little hands immediately reached out for another.

"Finish that one first; y'all aren't even chewing," Beyoncé told them.

"This is annoying, for all this I should've stayed gone"

"That's how you feel? then Go"

It felt like we were back to square one and I was tired of this bullshit, she didn't know if she wanted to love or hate me.

I just stayed quiet as I finally finished Giselle's hair.

"Look at my pretty girl," Beyoncé complimented her, causing her to smile and giggle.

I slightly smiled before getting up to put the stuff away, I decided to just stay upstairs. I was lost in my thoughts again. I just wondered how did I end up here?

I was thinking, if I hadn't left, maybe we'd be all happy and engaged by now. But the last thing I remember, she wasn't really into the whole marriage thing.

"So, you don't want to go anywhere?" Beyoncé asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"No, it's fine" I gave her a slight grin, I was truly tired. Tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of the sex, just tired.

"Nic, I just can't trust you yet with them"

"But you trust me enough to stick your dick in me? and no, it's not different, if you don't trust me then don't trust me at all"

"I'm not taking that risk, those are my kids"

"OUR KIDS! I pushed them out"

"You didn't raise them" oh please Beyonce!

"Beyonce please shut the fuck up!" she was starting to piss me off. I wanted to punch her in her fucking face, but she'd probably beat my ass.

"Watch who you talking to" she pointed her hands in my face as I slapped them down.

"I should've stayed gone, I don't need this stress"

"You should've stayed away from your kids? wow, mother of the year" I had enough, I slapped the fuck out of her. She held her cheek looking at me like I was crazy.

She walked up to me and choked me. Her eyes turned dark, I was a little scared but I can hold my own.

"Don't ever put your fucking hands on me" she was choking me a bit too hard so I scratched her face with my nails, she pushed me back so hard that I hit the dresser, fuck my back.

"Shit" I touched my back, feeling pain and burn. "You stupid bitch" I got up punching her, I felt her pull my hair before I felt a punch to my mouth, I touched my lip and felt blood.

"Get the fuck out my house, bitch" she yelled walking away. I cried feeling my lip swell up a bit.

I grabbed my belongings and keys, and walked out the door. I could hear my kids calling for me, but I didn't want them to see me bruised and crying.

Fuck Beyonce.

__________

"I'm disappointed in you both," Mama Tina said, dabbing a wet rag on my lip. I just sat there, tears still streaming down my face.

"I thought things were improving between you two?"

"Apparently not," I whispered, my breath growing shallow as I began to break down. She hugged me tightly, offering comfort in my moment of vulnerability.

"You're both setting a poor example for your children. They need you to be responsible and show them the right way to behave."

I felt like a fuck up feeling how disappointed mama tina was in us, I don't know how we got to this point but I didn't think we could move past it, we were just simply toxic.

I was unable to hold back the tears, and suddenly, I felt a wave of nausea. I bolted to the bathroom and ended up throwing up everything.

Mama tina came in holding my hair up for me as I threw up again, I felt like shit.

not again.

🫣