Babymama

52

Onika Maraj

I started packing my things, I couldn't be here anymore she was being sneaky and not telling me but something in my heart knew there was something going on, I needed to end it before I ended up torn.

"A divorce, Nicki?" she replied still holding the ring in shock.

"Yes, a divorce. This whole time you haven't denied cheating on me" I walked into the closet getting stuff out to pack in my bag.

"Because you don't hear how ridiculous that fucking sounds?" she raised her voice, I turned to her.

"No, considering our past, it sounds pretty on brand. You stay out late now, smiling down at your phone and not talking to me for weeks. No, it doesn't sound ridiculous at all," I told her.

At this point, I was tired of the back and forth. My OB-GYN told me I didn't need to stress if I wanted a healthy pregnancy. I couldn't go through with the abortion; I can't handle too many losses right now.

"You somehow always love to bring up the past" she chuckled, I ignored her cause what the hell are you even saying right now?

"So what about our family, the kids?" she asked.

You didn't give a fuck about your family before, so why now just because I'm leaving? You're going to act as if I broke this damn family apart?" I laughed, pointing at myself. "I'm not even shocked. It's always somebody's fault, by Beyoncé's standards, right?"

"I just think divorce is a bit much, considering the fact i'm not even cheating on you. Yeah i've been gone because this arguing shit is too much" she said again with that dumb excuse.

"Beyonce, you are fucking 41, you're not a damn child anymore, way past that. You know that our marriage wasn't going to be perfect, we are going to have disagreements. You stay and fight."

"You telling me to stay and fight while packing your bags is ironic" she said laughing, yeah I don't have time for this anymore. I continued packing tuning her out.

"So that's it forreal Nicki?"

"Answer this, who have you been texting?" I asked her as she went silent, exactly why divorce is the best option. "Right"

I kept packing my stuff until I felt good with what I had, zipped up my bag, and took it downstairs. I went back up, grabbed my purse, keys, and phone before heading back out to put my bag in the car.

"Where you going?" Beyonce asked.

"Why are you worried?"

"You're my wife, why wouldn't I be worried?" she said and I laughed.

"Wow, you remembered you had one. I don't want this damn marriage anymore. Also, I'm having this baby so try to be there for your child," I said before getting in my car and driving off.

I headed over to Tina's place before deciding to go to my hotel, hoping the kids were already asleep.

I called her phone and told her I was outside. I saw the door open, got out of my car, and slowly walked up to her, giving her a hug. My quiet sobs and sniffles were the only sounds in the still night.

"Come on baby" she whispered pulling me in the house.

We walked in the house and sat on the couch, she was in her night clothes with her hair tired up, clearly ready for bed.

"I asked for a divorce" my voice cracked while saying it.

"Oh no, it's that bad?" her eyes full of concern.

"I think she's cheating on me"

"Thinking and knowing are two different things baby, what makes you think that?" she asked me.

"She doesn't look at me or touch me without a look that I annoy her, she comes home later now, smiling at her phone and even smelling like perfume" I said wiping my tears. "I just can't do it anymore, she won't talk to me. I have to leave her"

We heard a gasp followed by sniffles, and I turned around to see GG at the bottom step. I didn't want her to know out of all people yet. I stood up and walked over to her, giving her a hug as she cried in my arms.

"I-I told you I was scared and I knew you guys weren't okay" she cried, my heart was breaking seeing my baby so hurt.

"I'm sorry baby, i'm so sorry" I kissed her forehead.

"Y'all have to fix it, please" she begged.

"I've tried baby, I promise you I did. I can't be the only one trying though honey" I told her as I held her face looking at her now puffy swollen eyes.

"I hate yall" she pulled away from me running upstairs, I will let that slide right now because we're all feeling the emotions but she will definitely have to talk to me about that.

"I will talk to her, you go rest Nicki" tina said pointing upstairs.

"I'm actually going to go to a hotel, I know she's going to come here in the morning and I just don't feel like seeing her right now" I said.

"Okay but I don't want you at no hotel especially not checking in at night" she told me and I nodded, I wasn't going to argue with her too so I just went to my car to get my stuff and came back going to her guest bedroom.

I lay down and cried, thinking that her and I were doing so well. This was all too much, and the fact that she wouldn't tell me if she cheated or not just made me feel like she did. I didn't deserve that, no matter how angry we were with each other. I looked down at my phone and noticed she had texted me.

Baby🌍: A divorce is really dramatic
Baby🌍: your breaking our family apart
Baby🌍: i know ur at moms, i'll be there in the morning

I turned off my phone. That's exactly why I didn't want to stay here, and I'm not. I grabbed my things and silently left the house, heading to a hotel. I needed to get away from this situation, and I was tired of arguing with Beyonce.

My mind was made up.

I'm done.

•••

About to end this book soon.