But in the End

Atonement

I glanced around the pink room we were in, seeing how decked out in cute things it was. I sweat dropped as I heard Lucy shout at Atsushi.

So this is her ability. I glanced over to the redhead pigtailed girl. I remember she helped Atsushi out to escape the Moby Dick with it.

"Are you sure this place is really safe?" Mushitaro asked, glancing around, unsure.

"Only those that she decides to invite inside can enter." He replied, still staring at the scene in front of us. "It's the safest place on earth."

"So, you've been in cahoots with Dazai since this all started." I spoke up, coming to stand beside my father, not breaking my gaze away from the three in front of me. "So what was with the phone call that day? If you knew he was locked up, why call and ask around? I was confused why you called Astushi and I about his whereabouts knowing the two of you's history."

I brought my gaze to my father as he was silent. "...Let's just say we have a common interest at the moment."

I raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "Oh? And what's that?"

He turned to look at me for a few moments before pushing up his glasses. "Don't worry about the details, just that it benefits both Dazai and I."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, annoyed that he never spares any details to me. "Fine. But I'll find out eventually and ask Dazai about it."

"If he wants to tell you then that's on him." Father replied before digging into his coat pocket. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. There was something he wanted me to pass on to you. Said you'd understand what it meant."

I watched as he pulled out an envelope, holding it out to me. I grabbed the envelope and curiosity took over as I began to open it. Pulling out a piece of paper, I saw it was only a couple sentences long.

'It looks like I became the hostage once again, huh (Y/N)? What can I say, I'm truly amazing, aren't I?'

...

"And other thing..." I trailed off, turning my head. "How come I'm just now finding out you were taken by the Mafia as well? And miraculously escaped, no less?"

Dazai looked at me. "Well you did tell me that next time I should be the hostage. What can I say, I'm truly amazing!" He replied, acting as if it was no less than a daily occurrence.

...

I let out a chuckle at the memory. "What is it?" My father asked me, confused at why I was chuckling.

I shook my head, waving my hand side to side. "It's nothing. Just remembered something about that idiot, that's all."

I put the letter in my pocket, closing my eyes. I was right to think he let himself be caught. As to why-! I snapped my head over to my father once more, staring at him knowingly. "He's got eyes on Fyodor in that place, doesn't he?"

My father nodded his head. "Yeah, that's right. Dazai let himself be caught by the Hunting Dogs in order to keep eyes on Fyodor from the inside, while I was to be his messenger and keep tabs on any suspicious activity tied to Fyodor."

I let out a sigh. Should've known. "The day Fyodor was captured at that café... that's when you two set all this in motion. Or was it the day of the car crash..." I mumbled to myself, trying to think back.

"Wait- Lucy! W-Why are you suddenly working with Ango now?" Atsushi caught both of our attention, dragging us away from the conversation at hand.

Lucy stopped in her tracks. "I... I really don't think that's any of your business."

"I'm protecting her." My father spoke up from beside me.

She suddenly flinched, glancing over in our direction. "Hey!"

My father pushed his glasses up. "One day, she barged into Investigation Headquarters. 'Atsushi is not evil. There's no way he's a murderer!' She said maniacally." (When rewatching this scene all I thought about was Horologium from Fairy Tail)

I stifled a laugh as Lucy gasped out, covering her beet red face. "Don't tell him what I said!" She began to cry out in embarrassment.

"Wow... that's very kind of you." Atsushi told Lucy, unsure of what to say. "Thank you, Lucy." Poor girl. I thought to myself before moving my gaze over to Atsushi. He's clueless.

"Can we put aside all that for a moment?" Mushitaro spoke up. "As you might know Ango, I was once captured by an organization that forced me to help cover up crimes. That evil organization called the Seventh Agency. With that in mind, can you honestly say you're not currently with them?"

My father turned to Mushitaro calmly, hands behind his back. "I'm not."

"Alright. Have you made use of any of their services for any reason?" Musitaro began to interrogate my father, still unsure of his standing.

My father was silent for a moment before he closed his eyes. "Yes, I have."

As if that decided things, Mushitaro turned on his feet, walking towards the exit of Lucy's ability. "Then I have no reason to cooperate with you any further."

"Don't go." My father spoke up. "It was only once." This caused Mushitaro to stop in his place.  "Four years ago, in order to solidify a way for Dazai to live outside the Port Mafia, I needed to erase his past crimes."

I turned to my father with a curious gaze. "Why just once? Your hands were already dirty." Musitaro glanced back over his shoulder.

We waited for my father's answer as he seemed to be thinking about something. "I tried to make amends... for a friend who is now long gone."

I widened my eyes as he had a look of remorse on his face. Odasaku...

...

"How much do you know of what your father did while in the Port Mafia?" Dazai asked.

"Nothing except for what I told you, he never talked about it, even now. Why?" I frowned, noticing the distant look he had.

"He was one of the reasons that led to me leaving the Mafia." Dazai replied. "When I was in the Mafia, your father and I would meet up at a place called Bar Lupin and meet with another friend of ours, Odasaku."

...

I recalled the conversation with Dazai the day I asked if my suspicions were right about him being from the Port Mafia. I remember he mentioned my father was playing double agent between the Port Mafia and a group called Mimic.

Dazai told me how the leader of Mimic targeted the kids Odasaku took care of, resulting in a battle to the death, despite being against killing.

...

"Despite that, he refused to kill anyone. After Odasaku's refusal, Mimic retaliated and killed the orphan kids he took care of. This caused Odasaku to seek the man out and they fought to the death... I followed after him, but it was too late."

...

He's trying to make amends in the part he had with Odasaku's death. I kept my gaze on my father, as if trying to figure him out. The man was a complicated puzzle to me all my life, I never knew much about him or his work... I was oblivious.

Even the days he'd come home with minor wounds, I always brushed it off because my attention was brought to the fact that he had finally come home after days of being gone for work. I was just a little girl without a mother that was glad to finally see her father home again.

My obliviousness was why I never noticed the look on his face that day. The day he told me he was leaving his job for a new one for the Special Operations. Maybe if I looked closer or paid more attention, I would've noticed the conflicted and remorseful look he wore.

You blame yourself, don't you?

———
Published: 08/24/2024

I realized I haven't been able to post in a good minute 🥲