Jeongcheol 43

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A tear escaped off from Mingyu's cheeks.

When he began standing up to leave as he was asked, Wonwoo panicked immediately. He all of sudden realised this was not how he wanted this to end. That Mingyu was not supposed to cry anymore, not because of him atleast.

But like always, he has ruined everything.

And that was his problem, he ruins everything.

Wonwoo also on the other hand without thinking twice, caught Mingyu's wrist immediately, but when the taller looked at him once again, his brows were frowned in pure annoyance, "What? I am doing as you are saying. I am letting you go. What else do you want huh?"

"Don't- Don't go. Please..." And that was very pathetic of Jeon Wonwoo. He did not know what he wanted anymore. The war between his mind and his heart was so enormous that all he could do at the moment was stare at the skin where he was holding Mingyu in the hope that Kim Mingyu would not see the pathetic face of his right now.

But instead of that, as he had feared, Mingyu fell on his knees, his voice breaking, "The hell you want me to do Wonwoo? Tell me? You don't want me to stay, when I agree, you don't want me to leave either. How the hell am I even supposed to make you content?! Do you even see what you are doing?!"

"No, I don't!" Wonwoo finally broke down, his tears falling off from his eyes, one by one, letting his dry cheeks be wet by it, "I don't know what I am doing anymore! Yes, I don't want you to stay but the I don't want you to leave either. Cause when I look at you, it's suffocating, it's like the guilt inside me is slowly twisting my neck, but when I don't see you in front of my eyes, I feel like being pierced a thousand times with a blunt knife. It hurts! Everything hurts! My head spins everytime you try to approach me, but my heart, it shatters each time you take a step away from me. I am fucking asshole! Because i do not understand a shit!"

When he finally raised his head to look at Mingyu, the man was already looking at him, "I wish I could tell you what is wrong with me. I am asking same shit to myself over two years, and still i haven't gotten the answer of it either." He all of sudden took a deep breath, "All i know is that I can't stay with you, but I can't live without you either. My head, it is so fucked up that whenever you are around, it's just tells me to stay away, for your own good. Because i ruin every beautiful thing Mingyu. I am cursed." A tear again escaped off from his cheeks, "Everything I touch turns into ashes, a form that no one can reverse it back from. Everything I want becomes impossible for me to gain, and everything I love eventually disappears, i ruin it Mingyu, i destroy it, i turn it into it's darkest form, i make the love I crave into the strongest hate i could ever get."

His palms, they went to cup Mingyu's cheeks, "But when I look at you, so beautiful, so ethereal, shining the brightest in my sky, I become afraid that my want towards you will destroy you. That maybe if I touched you, you'll perish like everything else. That maybe if i said i love you, it will change into the strongest hate i have ever received."

"I don't want to be hated by you Mingyu." Wonwoo sobbed, this time harder than before, "But I don't know anything beside hate that i could receive from anyone. Everything I love dies like a flower forgotten to be watered. It's like a curse I have beared with me all of my life. It just makes me so afraid when I look at you, because I don't want you to die like that. You don't deserve me Mingyu, you don't deserve anything like-"

This time, it was Mingyu who pulled him closer, crashing their lips with eachother and palms covering his nape as he begin moving his lips against other's.

And within seconds, Wonwoo forgot what he was crying for. His lips involuntarily moved to maintain their pace with that of Mingyu's. And within seconds, they were kissing eachother, pulling eachother closer than they already were and losing their breath in that process.

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