PitBabe - Our lives after...

Chapter 19 (Kim Kenta)

Kim pov

It was a quiet evening in our house.  I had just come from the garage where I had to train for the new championship, and Kenta was busy with Jeff modifying the cars.

Everything in the garage was chaos after Charlie and Babe announced they were expecting a baby. We were all still getting used to the idea but were excited that we would be the so-called uncle for the little miracle.

North and Sonic were the most impatient. They talked all day about how they would take care of the child.

But there was also a small downside to all of this. Charlie completely forbade Babe to participate even though he wanted to make it a  for a month or two. But Charlie didn't want to risk anything and I understood him.

So we were left with only me and him to compete for the next months or even a year until Babe could fully participate again.

It was natural that I was stressed, but my relationship with Kenta stressed me the most right now. I sometimes saw him still thinking and at night he still had nightmares.

I always tried to talk to him, but it was difficult for him to open up. I understand him on the one hand, but if he doesn't communicate with me, how will he manage to get through those moments?

I wanted to talk to him in the evening when we got back from work but we were both tired and stressed and I didn't want it to become a reason for an argument.

Tonight I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. he had just come out of the bathroom, his hair still damp. He looks so cute.

Kim: Are you tired?

Kenta: Yeah, a little. North and Sonic took all my energy today with the talk about Babe and Charlie's baby.

Kim: I know, I heard them too.

Kenta: But it's one thing to stay with them for so many hours and talk non-stop. I don't understand why they don't get tired.  I think that's why they fit.

Kim: Yeah, probably.  When I was staying at Alan's house when all that happened, they liked to argue so much, but I realized that they did it because they loved and cared about each other.

Kenta: Yes...

I saw that his face changed when I remembered something from the past. I knew how sensitive the discontinuity was when I remembered the past.

I tried afterward to somehow woo her, even though I knew she was still thinking about it.

Kim: You know who those two remind me of? They remind me of us.

Kenta: Yes, but for us it was serious. We fought and...

Kim: Don't say anything. That's how much I want to remember that although we both had a conflict, now we love each other. That's all I care about now. I don't care at all what happened in the past. I deleted everything.

Kenta: It's easy for you to talk. I heard him mutter.

Kim: And what does that mean Kenta?

I was angry and it was felt in the tone of my voice. It was also one of the only times I had ever called him by his full name.

Kenta: I didn't want to say anything, forget it.

Kim: You always promised me that you would tell me no matter what.  good or bad. I always told you when something was bothering me when I was suffering. I understood you and I understand you even now that it is difficult for you. But if you would change with me at least 2 words or just tell me that you are not well, I would still be more calm.  That's how I feel like I'm pulling for you to talk to me.

Kenta: Kim, it's not easy for me. Even telling you that I don't feel well or that I'm thinking about all kinds of things is hard for me. In all these years I have not spoken to anyone. No one listened to me how I felt. Nobody cared how I felt. I'm trying to change myself for you. After all, I don't want to bore you and be completely uninvolved because I'm sure you won't love me afterward. Because you don't want to be with someone who doesn't show you love.

Kim: Ken, you mean everything to me. First of all, I want you to listen to me carefully. No matter what, I will not part with you. I will leave your life only the moment you tell me you don't love me anymore. Then I leave it.

Kenta: No, no Kim, I love you. I do not want to...

Kim: I know, I know. Let me finish. I know it's hard for you to tell me, but know that I won't judge you at all. You can tell me anything. I won't laugh or comment. I want you to talk to me. Even if it's hard for you and you don't know where to start, I'll be here by your side to listen to you. Okay?

Kenta: Okay, I'll try.

Kim: Thank you!

Kenta: Thank you too. 

Kim: Now before we eat, please tell me what you dreamed last night because you couldn't fall asleep.

Kenta: I dreamed of Tony. More scenes of him insulting me or beating me or...

Kim: It's ok, don't cry. I am beside you. See, it wasn't that hard. Well done. You managed. You told me.

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I tried my best to write this chapter and I hope you like it.

Also, thank you for all the suggestions, nice and encouraging comments, and for every vote offered.

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I will try to update this story as well, but I will also focus on the new story.