The day of the final group stage game of the tournament had arrived, and the stakes couldn't be higher. We were level on points with France, and to advance, we needed to win and score at least two goals. The opponent was Ireland once again, and I felt a mix of anxiety and determination. I wanted payback and to prove my strength.
As we stepped out onto the pitch, the chants from the Irish fans were worse than ever, their voices filled with malice and directed at me. They chanted my name in a derogatory way, trying to undermine my confidence. I took a deep breath, shut them out, and stood tall as we prepared to sing the national anthem. I sang with pride and strength, my voice unwavering despite the hostility surrounding me.
When the anthem ended, we moved to the pre-game handshakes. As I reached Ruesha, she leaned in and whispered in my ear, her voice cold and taunting. "You don't belong here, Maddie. You're going to fail again, just like last time."
Her words sent a chill down my spine, and as I moved to my position on the field, I couldn't help but feel more anxious than determined. The whistle blew, signaling the start of the game, but Ruesha's words and the crowd's chants made me feel overwhelmed. I tried to focus, but my mind was racing.
The game began, and I struggled to get my head in the game. The noise from the crowd and Ruesha's taunt echoed in my mind, making it hard to concentrate. I felt my chest tighten, my breaths coming in short, shallow gasps. I was starting to have a panic attack, but I tried to push through, determined not to let anyone down.
As the minutes ticked by, my vision blurred, and I felt dizzy. I couldn't keep going. Finally, I had to sit down on the field, my head spinning and my heart pounding. The referee noticed and stopped the game, her whistle cutting through the noise.
Leah and Katie were the first to reach me, despite Katie being on the opposite team. Their faces were filled with concern. Leah knelt beside me, her hand on my shoulder. "Maddie, are you okay? Do you want to come off?"
I shook my head, my voice trembling. "No, Leah. I can do this. I just... need a minute."
Katie looked at me, her eyes filled with empathy. "Maddie, it's okay to take a break. We need you at your best."
I took a few deep breaths, trying to steady myself. But the panic was too intense. Leah and Katie helped me to my feet, and I was escorted off the pitch to be assessed and to calm down before deciding whether I could continue.
As I sat on the sidelines, medical staff and coaches surrounded me, asking questions and checking my vitals. The game continued without me, a painful reminder of what was at stake. I felt torn between wanting to be out there with my team and knowing I needed to take care of myself.
"How are you feeling, Maddie?" one of the medics asked, his voice calm and reassuring.
"I... I just need a moment," I replied, my breaths still uneven. "I want to get back out there."
The noise from the crowd seemed distant now, my focus narrowing to the present moment and the people around me. I could see Emily in the crowd, her face etched with worry, and it gave me the strength to push through.
After a few more minutes of assessment and calming down, I felt a bit more in control. "I think I can go back in. I want to help the team."
The medic nodded, though he looked cautious. "If you're sure, Maddie. But if you feel overwhelmed again, you need to come off immediately."
Standing on the sidelines, I waited anxiously for the medics to give me the all-clear to re-enter the game. The crowd's noise was a distant hum as I focused on my breathing, trying to steady myself. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they nodded, signaling that I could go back on. I took a deep breath and jogged onto the pitch, ready to take my place again.
