CHASING MY EX-WIFE

CHAPTER 73

Richard's POV

Every ounce of shame, guilt, and regret fills me inside, making my heart thump wildly.

“I'm f**king sorry.” I drag a hand through my hair, looking down in defeat. “I'm sorry, Bella.”

She sniffs and moves away. For a moment, I think she will leave and never come back again, but she surprises me by going to the couch to sit with her two hands over her forehead.

I stay rooted in a spot, unsure of what I am supposed to say or do. Not sure if moving close to her is a great idea.

She is sensitive to the topic of our divorce. And I understand.

When she looks up at me, the raw pain in her eyes causes fear to gnaw at my heart. Even though she has forgiven me, forgetting everything is highly unlikely.

I find myself moving towards her. When I am close enough, I kneel in front of her, her gaze fixated on me, I mutter. “I'm so sorry.”

“It's fine.” She nods. “Just a date, right?”

Shock completely submerges me, but I nod anyway. She let out a sad smile before leaning backward. “A date it is, then.”

“Are you sure?”

"Yes,"  she affirms loudly. “But that doesn't mean we are dating or coming back together. It's not going to mean anything to you or me. It's just a date, and a date it is. Nothing more.”

Despite the conditions, I nod in agreement anyway.

Silence falls.

She is staring right at me, making me feel like there is more she intends to say. When she opens her mouth again, I know I am right.

“This doesn't mean you can ruin my dates with other men or stop me from becoming someone's girlfriend, just like you did with Fernando…”

“That was because…”

“I don't care. I am old enough to make a choice for myself. You have no business with my desire to engage in a romantic relationship with any man. Do you agree?” She stops me from going further with my accusations against Fernando.

He was a bad person.

He didn't deserve her.

So do you. An inner voice screams back at me.

“Do we have an agreement?” She repeats, jerking me back to reality.

Meekly, I nod. Scenes of her going on dates with other men race through my head, making my heart twist painfully.

This is a punishment. And she knows it.

With our eyes still interlocked, she takes my hand. "I understand that it's a difficult time for both you and me, but rest assured, I have forgiven you the moment I told you I did. You've told me how sorry you are several times, and I know you are, but it doesn't change anything that has happened. Let's forget about the past and move on with our lives. I just want you to know that I meant it when I said I forgive you. You don't need to get yourself worked up over nothing. I forgive you.”

I want to ask questions. Question about what comes next after this confession. Question about her going on dates with other men.

And questions about her forgiveness.

“I know it's really hard to let go, but I assure you, I will do all it takes to take away all the bad memories if you will allow me…Just give me a chance to prove to myself once more that I am not the man I used to be. Let me prove to you that that Richard who asked you for a divorce was stupid, and now he knows better. I already explained everything to you, but it seems you don't understand me well enough. I thought I was doing good by wanting to keep my promise to someone else. If I knew better, I wouldn't have taken such a silly promise to heart. I would have acted better,” I say, feeling my throat constricted and my mouth dry. A tear slips down my face against my will, and I wipe it away quickly.

“I can't pretend not to be in love with you, Arabel. No matter how hard I try, I can't help it. Having you close by is hard enough; not seeing you is nothing but torture. I don't need to have a reason to be with you again, but if the reasons are what you desire to hear, I have thousands of reasons for you to be with me again. I love you, and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving you. Even if you threaten to leave and never come back again, I can't stop. Even if it means sacrificing my entire life and wealth just to have you back, I am willing to do that. Please don't push me away any further. I will accept that you have forgiven me the moment you decide to forget everything that happened and give us a chance again. Please! I'm going crazy!”

I don't deserve her. She is too good for me.

I don't deserve this woman, but I want her. I need her as much as I need air.

I love her. I don't care if this is selfish; I can't let her go and be with other men. I need her back. I need to rewrite my mistakes so that she forgets every bad memory and replaces them all with new, beautiful ones that will always bring a smile to her beautiful face.

Her eyes are dry now. And her expression is devoid of emotion.

I can't figure out what's going through her mind or what her reaction will be. When she stands up, I shoot to my feet too.

She tries to move, but I block her. She looks up, warning me with the glare in her eyes.

She tries to move again, but I hold her back, my hands finding their way to her face, caressing her until her lips begin to tremble.

How can I see all these signs and not want to speak up? How can I see how her body reacts to mine when I do not want to claim her?

“You love me, Arabel, but you keep denying it. Just tell me that you do. Just tell me you love me as much as I love you. You don't need to pretend to me or anyone else. Just let it out. Let the burden go from my chest. You love me, don't you?”

She is rigid, not moving. Not saying a word.

"This thumping," I say, placing my hand over her chest. “It means and says a lot, Bella. Just tell me you still love me, and I won't bother you ever again!”

Hoping she will fall for it, I continue to stare at her face, expecting a reply that does not come.

Instinctively, I slam my lips on her, hoping to get my answers, but she pushes me away and strikes a hand over my cheek.

And another on the other cheek before she storms out of my apartment.

****
What else can he do to win her back?

This is the third chapter for my favourite people. Enjoy❤