16 & 16

16: Ikaw Pa Rin Ang Pipiliin Ko

Hindi ako sanay.

For the longest time, pag nakikita ko si Cassie, galit at inis lang nararamdaman ko. Kadalasan nga, wala akong nararamdaman pag nakikita ko siya eh.

Hindi ako sanay na ngayon, may iba nang humahalo.

"Tapos ka na mag ayos ng gamit?" Bella asks, walking towards me as she holds her bags.

"Mhm," I answer, getting comfortable on the couch, "Nag-aayos pa silang lahat eh. Relax muna tayo dito."

She sits down next to me and goes on her phone. 'Di ko pa nakwkwento kay Bella lahat ng nangyari sa outing na 'to.

'Di pa niya alam that I woke up yesterday with Cassie hugging me, 'di pa niya alam 'yung ginawa ni Cassie para sakin kagabi when I had a bad dream, 'di pa niya alam na sinabi namin ni Cassie na miss namin isa't isa, and 'di pa niya alam na just a few hours ago, Cassie comforted me as I cried.

Kasi...takot ako na once I say it out loud, magiging totoo na. Magiging totoo na may iba na kong nararamdaman for Cassie. Magiging totoo na after two long years, unti-unti na nawawala 'yung galit.

"Huy, gagi." Bella says, voice sounding shocked, taking me out of my train of thought.

"Why?" I ask, taking my eyes off the flower vase in front of me. Kanina ko pa kasi tinititigan habang nag-iisip ako.

"Kita mo 'yung story ni Carballo sa IG?" She says, eyes still glued to her phone, "Grabe! As in, grabe!"

"Anong story? 'Di pa eh." Hindi pa kasi ako nagbubukas ulit ng phone dahil sa nakita ko sa Facebook kanina. Medyo on edge pa rin kasi emotions ko ngayon, kaya umiiwas muna ko sa social media.

Bella hands her phone to me, and at first, I was expecting to see a story about this outing. But once my eyes focus on the screen, nanlaki agad mga mata ko.

Stinory niya 'yung screenshot ng hate comments dun sa video ng injury ko galing Facebook, 'yung iniyakan ko kanina. But that's not all.

She also typed the caption, "Sana tigilan na po yung pagcomment ng mga ganto. Nainjure na nga yung tao, she's already been through enough. Onting compassion please, ty!"

"Oh my God." I say, blinking to make sure na tama 'yung nakikita ng mga mata ko. The story was posted three hours ago, which was around the time na naghiwalay kami ni Cassie after I stopped crying.

"Bakla ka ng taon," Bella says, giving me a disbelieving look, "Ano 'to ha?! Ano nangyayari? Trending na 'yan sa X, matik!"

"Ikwkwento ko sayo lahat pag balik natin ng dorm, promise," I answer quickly, gesturing for her to lower her voice, "Wag dito. Wag habang nandito siya."

Nakatitig pa rin ako sa story niya. Grabe, I can't believe nagstory siya ng ganto.

"Pabitin masyado," Bella says, frowning at me, "Ang dami na sigurong nangyayari no? Halata eh, nakatitig ka lang sa vase kanina eh. Daming iniisip!"

"Kilala mo na talaga ko," I sigh, "Oo, sobrang daming nangyari. Ikwkwento ko nga mamaya pag-uwi, hinaan mo nga boses mo."

A smile starts to creep up on her face, and she pinches my waist, "Lumalayag na ba?"

Jusko. Sana alam ko rin 'yung sagot diyan.

"Hindi, Belen." I answer sternly, looking around to see if anyone else is listening in on our conversation.

"Eh ano?" She asks, nudging me, "Ba't parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo?"

"Lalayuan ko na siya."

Her smile instantly drops.