sunshine and midnight rain

Chapter 23

24th of April

Yuji’s pov 

I was holding him in my arms. He was sleeping and didn’t look nervous at all. I wasn’t either, I was just a little scared. The thought of him falling for someone that isn’t me, terrified me. Now that he was so close, now that I could feel him, I couldn’t. I was too busy with my own mind and pain. His face was soft, warm, heavenly. 

The hurt I would feel if I had to see him fall in love with someone else, causes me so much pain that I can’t find any other way to bring it out of me but crying. A tear slid down my cheek, as I held him tighter. It’d feel like dying, not being able to hold him that way and knowing someone else would have done it for me; being forced to be his friend would be a torture. 

I could never be friends with him. 

Furthermore, there’s this guy at school, he moved here about a week and a half ago, and I can’t seem to shake the thought of him off my mind. Megumi and him had gotten along quickly, too quickly. I didn’t ask for any reassurance, I just stood there watching, not noticing at first that I was creating a distance between him and I. As a result, I spent a lot more time with my friends so that I didn’t have to think of them, but still noticed them talking in the hallway whenever they had the chance. And god, him, the guy, seems a lot more alike to Megumi than I’ll ever be. Sometimes I wish he’d just disappear, just to feel bad after and regret the thought I processed. 

Megumi might have noticed our distance, if he actually did, then he knows that’s my fault. I just don’t know how I should react. I love him and love every second I spend with him, but when that other guy comes into my mind, everything messes up. It’s not difficult for me to understand why he bothers me that much. First, as I had already remarked, he seems much more similar to Megumi, and they got along far too quickly, more rapidly than Nobara and I did with him; second, the fear that Megumi could go away any second because he starts feeling something for someone else. And then, another thing bothered me, and I got it only after a few days of pondering; the way he looks at Megumi. He looks at him like I would look at him, and it’s not only my perception. I know how to recognise someone’s feelings for someone else, not to talk about the smirks Lea had given me whenever she saw me observing them irritatedly. It’s all jealousy and fear, I know, but I can’t help stare at them and get upset at the sight of them together. 

Megumi’s pov 

“Would you mind having lunch with me? Sorry, I know it’s the third time.” He scratched the back of his head as I sighed, not really willing to spend my time in the cafeteria. 

“Fine.”

“Thanks.”We headed and on the way I observed the surroundings, looking for Yuji. He was surely at the cafeteria already. “I like your style.” Haru stated. 

“It’s the same as yours.”

“That’s why I like it. Also your accessories.”I just nodded. “Nobara is friendly, I like her.”I glanced at him. 

“Yeah, she’s as good as gold.”I stated. He smiled, looking forwards. 

“Would you like to hang out sometime?”He then asked me. 

“Okay, that would be nice.” We reached the cafe, making the queue to get our food. There was so much noise, I was quite annoyed and tempted to leave. 

“Are you looking for someone?” He asked me curiously, after seeing me turn around for the fifth time. He’s taller than me. 

“No.” I shrugged his question off, I didn’t want to discuss that. I missed Yuji, but he was slightly pissing me off. I didn’t want to get angry at him before knowing the reasons he had been behaving in such a strange manner, he would never do it purposely, something must have bothered him.