Seeking the Wellspring of Heart

37

CHAPTER 37
Finally

"Okay ka lang, Da?"

Nagaalalang tingin ang ginawad ko sa ama ko sa harap. We're now eating here at a French restaurant. Sinundo niya ako sa school kanina.

He look so stressed. Hindi neat ang pagkakayos ng buhok niya ngayon at para bang sobrang daming problema ang kinakaharap. Hindi rin siya nagsasabi sa'kin kaya wala kong idea kung anong nangyayari.

"Oo naman, ikaw dapat ang tinatanong ko niyan, anak." Matamis na ngiti ang binigay niya.

Kilala ko si Dada, magkakaganito lang siya kapag may nangyaring hindi maganda.

"I'm more than fine, Da. May gumugulo ba sa isip mo?"

"Nothing to worry about, Nocia anak. I've just been really worried lately because our company is facing a major problem. May tendency na mag-lessen ng number of engineers."

Tumitig ako sa kanya at hindi maiwasang mangamba. Kahit kilala si Dada sa husay niya sa trabaho, may uncertainty pa rin kung sakali.

"Have you made a decision about Poroco's offer? I think it could be helpful for you. I know na mas malaki ang magiging opportunity mo roon, not because kakilala ka nila, pero marami ka ng experience at records. Once the project is finished, you can secure your slot in Singapore."

He turned serious from what I said. "Your Mom--"

"You mentioned the other day that her recovery is progressing. I don't understand why she's holding you back from that important opportunity." I cut him off.

To be honest, Mommy's selfish decision makes me mad. Hindi habang buhay kayang sagutin ni Dada ang lahat, given na hindi pa bayad ang loan ni Mommy na hindi ko maintindihang utang niya sa dati niyang boss.

"I don't know what to do anymore." Halos bulong niya at kita ko ang pagka frustate sa mga mata niya.

Parehas kaming nanahimik ni Dada. I can tell he's really frustrated. I'm feeling pretty frustrated too by the way his wife and older daughter treated my Dada.

I smirked at how I've labeled Mommy and Ate Lope, as if they don't even matter to me anymore. It's infuriating, but honestly, I'm feeling a strange satisfaction in losing my empathy for them.

They don't deserve my empathy at first place.

"Accept Poroco's offer." I commanded, making Dada look at me with confusion. "Stop being so selfless Da, para rin naman sa kanila ang gagawin mo. Are you scared of something?"

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. "Of course, I'm concerned with your Mom's--"

"No, If I were Mom, I would look foolish if I didn't let you take an opportunity that would benefit us. There's a deeper reason, isn't there, Dada?"

I caught him off guard. Sa totoo lang, conclusion ko lamang ito pero malakas ang kutob ko na mayroon pang ibang rason.

Matalino si Dada, hindi niya itatali ang sarili niya sa alam niyang hindi kami magbebenipisyo. Masyado siyang mataas para ibaba ang sarili niya sa ganoong rason lamang na alam niyang may solusyon.

"Right. Pero labas kana rito anak, hindi mo na kailangan intindihin o problemahin kasi responsibilidad ko 'to."

Ngumiti siya sa'kin. I smiled back, pero sa loob ko ay hindi ako titigil hanggat wala akong nalalaman. Parte pa rin ako ng pamilya, if there's a huge problem, kasali ako rito.