Is it Casual Now?

10

"Erm no I don't?" You reply

How can she know this? Are you that down bad for Dua that it shows all over your face? Is Camila some weird spy sent by someone or something? So many questions about how she knows this that you're sure it's making it more obvious that you're lying.

" I'm bisexual trust me" she says

That's the first time you've ever heard someone say that loud and proud. It's usually nothing to be happy about or at least that's what you've been told your entire life. She's bisexual, she likes both girls and guys. You've never had a thought in your mind that you may be bisexual, Dua is the first and only person you've felt "love" and "attraction" to so maybe you're just gay?

"Um I don't know what you mean" you reply

"You do though look I can help you get to her if you'd like me to" she says

Help me get to her? Would it be so bad if you finally admitted what you were? But Harry, you won't be able to pursue it if you came out and your family will hate you forever. Camila is one person though, for some reason you feel like you can trust her. However what if she tells everyone? If you tell her it's true you have to tell her everything except for Dua and you. You can't throw Dua under the bus.

"Um well okay yea but Dua isn't like that trust me" you say

"What makes you so sure have you asked her?" She asks

"No but she's just not plus I'm not sure I am? Maybe it's just a phase I've never been in a heterosexual or homosexual relationship" you say, it's true you've never been in a relationship, Dua and you weren't anything.

"What about kissing and stuff?" She asks

You've done more than just kissing and stuff with Dua. Dua showed you everything, she knows everything part of you perfectly. Whenever you two did anything it was with love not just kissing and stuff, it was love making. At least to you it was. So yea you've done "kissing and stuff" but you can't tell her that.

"Nope look it's not a big deal I think I just find her very pretty maybe it's even jealousy" you say as you finally turn your car on

"Well I don't think you could be jealous you're actually very attractive" she says as she puts her seatbelt on.

You've never really looked enough at yourself to judge rather you're good looking or not. Having Dua attracted to you basically meant you've had at least something special right? Harry also likes you but other than that there's never been anyone else till now who has mentioned that you're somehow attractive.

"Thank you but let's get you home" you nervously smile

Should you tell Dua that you basically came out to someone and that she needs to watch her actions because people may be assuming she likes you? Maybe you write it in a letter as well? Therefore you won't be checking your phone to see if she read it or not. Because you assume that's why she wrote you a letter no?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lying on your stomach with your feet in the air, hovering your pen over your notebook you can't help but understand Dua. It's so hard to write a damn letter to someone, especially if that person is the one you love. Well actually it's not, it's hard to choose which one you want to give to them, you've written over 30 letters expressing how you feel about her letter but you go off topic and express how much you love her. It's hard to not write something so sweet to her.

One letter read:

Dear Dua, I can't do this, how can you? Tell me how you're over what we had so quickly perhaps maybe you feel nothing for me. However I reject that, I love you and I know you love me too. You love me more than you can imagine just like I love you. I'm hopelessly devoted to you, I see no one other than you. For the love of god I see you even when I close my eyes. Oh Dua Lipa how I wish you were somehow dead so I'd have no other choice but to move on but no I want you alive because I hope that one day you'll be completely mine.