Church and Rick quickly run up to Donut with their guns pointed at him.
Church: Freeze!
Donut: Hey, why the hell are you shooting at me?! You coulda hit me, dick!
Rick: That's kinda the point, dumbass.
Church: Can it. Don't try to play stupid with me, Sarge. I know who ya are. We've been spying on you for three weeks now.
Donut: I just got here two hours ago. And I'm not a Sergeant, I'm a Private.
Rick: Of course, the Reds get a fuckin' rookie at the same time as us.
Church: Wait a minute, you're not the Sergeant!
Donut: Yeah, that's what I just said.
Church: Well then how the hell did you manage to steal our flag?
Donut: Steal? I have no idea what the hell you're talking about!
Suddenly Tucker comes out of the teleporter between them and now his armor completely black.
Tucker: Three!
Church & Rick: JESUS!
Donut: HOLY SHIT! Who is this guy?
Rick: What in the hell!? Tucker, is that you?
Tucker: How did you get up here ahead of me?
Donut: And what's with that black shit on your armor?
Tucker: Hey! Freeze, Sarge!
Donut: Would you stop calling me a Sergeant, I'm still just a Private.
Tucker: The Sarge is still a Private? Oh. My. God. The teleporter sent me back in time.
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At Red Base, Grif and Simmons get in the Warthog which has Tejano music playing. Lopez is watching them.
Grif: Sorry Lopez, we need the jeep.
Simmons: I'll take gunner. (takes gunner position) Let's roll.
Grif: How do you turn off the fucking radio in this car?
Simmons: (calls out as they drive off) Don't worry Lopez, I'll bring her back in one piece.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Back with Rick, Church, Tucker, and Donut... Well...
Tucker: Look, I know you don't know me, but you have to believe what I'm about to tell you. Sometime in your future I get stationed here in Blood Gulch, and we meet. And this guy here, he gets promoted to Sergeant of the Red Army, and we spy on them. And they get this new jeep, and I'm all like, "There is no way you can pick up chicks in a tank!"
Rick: Tucker, have you gone insane?!
Tucker: I know all this sounds crazy, but he eventually becomes a Sergeant, and then one day we get a tank, and he comes and steals our flag while we're distracted.
Donut: Is this guy a retard?
While all of this is happening, Grif and Simmons are approaching in the Warthog, the Tejano music getting progressively louder.
Rick: Red, shut up! Tucker, listen to me. Ya haven't gone back in time. This guy did steal our flag, but he's just not the Sergeant. Turns out he's just a rookie who just so happens to have the same color armor as him. He got in somehow, just... for GOD SAKE! WHERE THE HELL IS THE MUSIC COMING FROM?!
Warthog suddenly jumps over the hill right by Church, Rick and Tucker.
Grif: Woohoo!
Tucker: Holy shit!
Rick: FUCK! SCATTER!
Church: Son of a bitch! Run! Jesus! Run!
Tucker: The jeep followed me back in time!
Grif gets out of the driver's seats and approaches Dount, while Simmons yells and fires at Church, Rick and Tucker as they run away, yelping from the gunfire.
Grif: What the hell is going on here?
Donut: You know what? I honestly have no idea what's going on. I think everyone in this canyon is absolutely insane.
Grif: How did you get the flag?
Donut: I don't know, I just asked for it.
Grif: Wait, that worked?
Donut: I guess. Is it not supposed to?
Grif: I don't know, we.. never even thought to try that. Just take the flag to the base, I'll explain there.
Donut: Not until someone tells me what the fuck is go-
Grif: There's no time to explain, rookie! Just take the flag, and go to base! I'll explain everything there.
Donut: Fine!
Donut starts running through the Gulch.
Grif: (scoffs) Back to our base, dumbass!
Donut: Uh, I know. I just got turned around, that's all.
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Meanwhile on the top of Blue Base, Caboose had been watching the altercation through a sniper rifle.
Caboose: Oh man, that's not good. (looks from Church, Rick and Tucker to the Warthog) Oh my god, that jeep has a really big gun. (puts down the sniper rifle and looks back and forth) Stay here... Tank... Stay here... Tank... ..Ah, screw it. (runs off to the tank)
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Church, Rick and Tucker were behind a rock, using it a cover, while kept Simmons firing and yelling at them in the background.
Church: Well, we'll just wait here. That thing's gotta run outta bullets some time.
Rick: That should only take less than a minute, with how he's firing.
-----END-----OF-----EPISODE-----
