Currently Church, Tucker, Rick, and Caboose are standing on top of Blue Base.
Church: Let me get this straight... You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Rick: It's actually very good.
Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?
Rick: Serves you right for putting the Rookie in charge of the one thing we've were ordered to protect out here, dumbass.
Church: Shut up the fuck up, Rick.
Tucker: There, there he is.
Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Meanwhile in the middle of the Gulch, Donut had gotten lost.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Cut back to Church, Tucker, Rick, and Caboose on top of the base.
Church: Oh, shit... Hey Tucker, look at his armor. It's red.
Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
Caboose: Uh, you know... he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Rick: That would also make it partially our fault.
Tucker: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.
Church fires at Caboose, four times but misses each time.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
Church lowers his rifle while, Tucker looks at Church in shock, while Rick turns to look at Church with disappointment.
Church: Aw crap.
Tucker & Rick: ...
Church: (turns to Tucker & Rick) ...What?
Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?
Rick: That's putting it LIGHTLY Tucker, He fuckin sucks at it.
Out in the canyon, Donut begins shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag.
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Rick: Okay, new plan. We'll cut him off at the teleporter.
Church: Alright, then. Rookie, you stay here. Me, Rick and Tucker, we'll head through the teleporter, we'll cut him off at the pass.
Caboose: Right!
Church: Tucker, Rick, you ready? Let's go.
Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.
Rick: Tucker, we don't have time for this, shit. Why the hell would command give us a teleporter that doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
Rick: We can learn, with the computer, and plus we already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Rick: Yeah, and I even went through it, and I came out the other side.
Tucker: Yeah, but the rocks came out all covered with black stuff, and you didn't.
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of a little black stuff.
Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of black stuff.
Church and Rick exchange a look.
Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you.
Church raises his rifle at Tucker.
Tucker: You wouldn't...
Rick: Tucker, you get two options: Either A, you go through the teleporter and get the flag back, or B, we stay here, and I get to kill you. Either way, I win.
Tucker: For the record, I want you to know, rocks aren't people.
Rick: Noted. Now get moving.
Tucker: Crap... Alright. One, two...
Tucker runs through the teleporter, the rest run to the edge of the base to see he didn't appear on the other side.
Caboose: ...Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
Church: Yeeaahhh, I've uh- I've decided I'm not gonna use the teleporter.
Rick: How come I was able to come through it immediately, but not Tucker?
Church: Let's not find out.
Rick: Agree.
Church and Rick run off the base to chase after Donut.
Church: Okay, rookie, you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
At Red Base, Grif and Simmons heard the gunshots from Church sniper rifle.
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Grif: (sighs) I'm telling you, it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. (sees Church and Zone through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got two Blue guys on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)...Simmons, get the Warthog.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
-----END-----OF-----EPISODE-----
