Sarge and Grif are standing next to the Warthog which is now on its side behind Red Base. Lopez is crouched over it, repairing it
Grif: And then I thought, you know, we could sneak around the side while they were hiding behind the rock, but uh, well that's when the tank showed up and.. shit just started blowin' up. I don't know. (sighs)
Sarge: (exhales in exasperation) Grif, do you have any godly idea how much this piece of equipment costs?
Grif: I-I don't know, uh, like, uh, what.. ten, ten.. twenty, twenty-five bucks, maybe? Uh, you-you're gonna kill me now, aren't you?
Sarge: Tell you what, Grif, I'm a fair man. I'll give you a ten-second head start here before I let Lopez do anything he wants to ya.
Lopez stops working and stands up to face Grif.
Grif: Guys, I just want you to know, I'm really, really sorry here, and-
Lopez puts down his tool for a gun.
Sarge: Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi.
Grif: (backing away) Okay, uh, I guess I better get going then.
Lopez and Sarge look at each other then turn and start firing at Grif off screen.
Grif: Hey guys, that's not funny! Somebody could get hurt here.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Meanwhile on top of Blue Base, Tucker and Rick are standing next to Tex who is firing at something offscreen.
Tucker: That's basically it, sir. They have five guys over there and a big jeep.
Tex: And your flag. (reloads)
Tucker: Right, that too.
Tex throws a grenade at something offscreen.
Rick: Tex, I don't know where you've been, but we don't use our team-mates for target practice.
Rick gestures to Caboose, who was standing in front of wall, which was surrounded by bullet holes, indicating Tex missed every shot.
Caboose: I'm scared.
Tex then changes to a rifle, as Caboose runs up to Rick, Tex and Tucker.
Tucker: So, you've got the Special Forces black armor, I see. Were you in the Special Forces at some point?
Tex: (looks at Tucker while reloading a gun)
Tucker: Yeah, I used to have black armor too. It was black because I got this stuff all over it from th-
Tex runs off, suddenly.
Tucker: Oh, okay, you gotta go? I'll see you later.
Caboose: (whispering loudly) I don't think he likes you.
Rick: We can tell.
Tucker: ...Thanks.
Rick, Tucker and Caboose run up to the edge of the base to see Tex walking into the Gulch.
Rick: Where the hell are you going?
Tex: Red Base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.
Caboose: Oh... Okay! We'll just stay here and guard the trans.. porter...
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Back at Red Base, Grif was talking to SImmons.
Grif: So, Sarge thought my strategy had merit, but was poorly executed, probably because SOMEBODY didn't believe in it.
Simmons: Bullshit. He told me he thought you were a retarded monkey, and he's gonna suspend your weapon privileges.
Donut: Hey, since I captured the flag, d'ya think they'll give me my own color armor now?
Simmons: What do you mean "captured"? You thought you were buying it at the store, you idiot.
Donut: Still, you think there's a shot?
Simmons: Maybe they'll give you Grif's armor, since he destroyed the Warthog.
Grif: Hyeah, heh-wait... You don't... You don't think they'd do that, do you?
Outside near the side of the base, Sarge was watching Lopez fix the Warthog.
Sarge: Try connectin' that hose to that metal thingy there. I think that's what's makin' that rattle.
Lopez stands up, turns and faces Sarge.
Sarge: I think I'll let you do it.
Lopez returns to work, unaware an invisible Tex quickly runs behind Sarge.
Sarge: What the...? What was that?
Up on top, Grif and Simmons heard the commotion.
Grif: Simmons, what's going on? What's over there?
Simmons: (looking over the edge of the base) I thought I saw something for a second.
Unaware of them, Tex while invisible was hiding right below them.
Grif: Hey rookie, tuck the flag some place safe until we can figure out what's goin' on.
Donut: Good idea. I was sick of carrying this thing anyway. (drops the flag into the middle of the base)
Below them Tex reload his weapon, which Grif and Simmons heard..
Simmons: Did you hear that?
Grif: Yeah.
Donut: (whispering) Hey! What's going on?
Tex then throws a plasma grenade unaware of the three. Grif then turns around.
Grif: What the fuck?
Donut has the plasma grenade stuck to the right side of his helmet.
Donut: What?
Simmons: (turns around) What is that thing?
Donut: (concerned) What thing?
Grif: There's somethin' on your head.
Donut: What, is it a spider? Get it off!
Simmons: No, it's not a spider, it's, like a.. blue thing.
Donut: What, like a blue spider? Get it off!
Grif: It's not a spider! Calm down. It's some kinda.. fuzzy, pulsating thing.
Donut: That doesn't sound much better than a spider.
Simmons: Does it hurt?
Donut: No.
Simmons: Maybe we should try to take it off.
Grif: Good idea. Go for it.
Simmons: Me? By "we" I meant "you". Asshole.
Donut: Well somebody needs to get it off. Look, it might be dangerous.
The grenade explodes.
Grif and Simmons: Son of a bitch!
Fade to black with sounds of people being hit.
Grif: Sim- Where'd he go?
More sounds of people being hit.
Grif: Don't kill me, I'm too good looking to die!
-----END-----OF-----EPISODE-----
