A distance from Blue Base, Sarge is discussing with Church and Rick, while Grif, Simmons and Donut watch.
Sarge: We are giving you a chance to surrender!
Grif: There's no way this bluff is gonna work.
Sarge: Put a cork in it, Fast Eddie. There's positively no way they know we're outta ammo.
Back the rock, Church, Rick, Tucker and Doc listen in.
Church: Yeah, they're definitely outta ammo...
Rick: (yells back) What're your terms?!
Tucker: Their what?
Cut back to the Reds.
Grif: Our what?
Simmons: I can't believe this is actually working. See if we can get Lopez back, Sarge.
Grif: Oh yeah. 'Cause then he can fix the Warthog.
Donut: Oo oo, Sarge - tell them we want the flag.
Grif: Yeah, and some cake!
Donut: Ooh... Wait wait Sarge, just the cake.
Sarge: Alright, Blues! First off! We want your flag-!
Simmons: Wait wait wait just a second. The last time we got the flag, the chick in the black armor showed up.
Sarge: ...to stay right where it is! Keep the flag! But we do want our mechanized droid guy back!
Church: Uh oh.
Sarge: You may know him as Señor El Roboto!
Cut back to the Blues.
Tucker: Well, Church, what's it gonna be?
Church: Chingado, no way. I'm not giving back my body. I just got this thing.
Rick: You do realize that I could just request a robot kit like the Reds have and just build a new body, right?
Sarge: And don't think you can keep his nuts! Or bolts, or other mechanical parts you may have!
Church: Uh.. Uh, he's not here any more!
Tucker: Yeah, he left! He was all like "Sayonara!" and then he just took off!
Church: That's not Spanish you idiot, that's French.
Rick: You're both idiots, that's Japanese. Let me try this: Hey, Reds! Would you take a medic as a hostage?
Doc: A hostage? But I'm supposed to go over there.
Cut over to the Reds.
Simmons: Meh, that sounds pretty good to me.
Grif: I don't know, I think we can hold out for more.
Simmons: We don't have any bullets, dumbass.
Grif: Oh, right. Take the medic. The medic's a good deal.
Cut back to the Blues.
Church: Hey, Doc. How's the patient?
Doc: Doing well. He seems very alert and responsive.
Tucker: He's talking about Caboose, right?
Church: No, I mean his toe. How's the toe I shot?
Rich: Why the hell did you shoot Caboose in the foot anyway?!
Church: (defensively) It was the only way to get Doc over there!
Rick: Somehow, I highly fucking doubt that!
There was a short silence, before...
Doc: Anyway, his toe fell off like half an hour ago.
Caboose: (sad) Rest in peace, pinkie toe... (in O'Malley voice) You shall be avenged!
Doc: (sighs) Tell you what... Go ahead and send me over. I really don't think I can be any more help.
Rick turns back to the Reds.
Rick: Alright we're gonna send over the medic! Now what do we get in return?!
Simmons: You?! You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Tucker: We've already got that! What else do you have?!
Sarge: What do you want?!
Church: How about if you admit that the Red Team sucks?!
The Reds mutter to themselves for a moment.
Sarge: What if we admit that one of us sucks?!
Grif: NICE. Wait, you mean Donut, right?
-----TWO-----HOURS-----LATER-----
Rick: Alright, we all agreed to the terms?! You guys go first, and then we'll send the medic!
Sarge: Get on with it, Grif.
Grif: (grunting sigh) I would just like to let everyone know.. that I suck!
Church: And?!
Grif: And that I'm a girl!
Rick: (slight laugh) What else!?
Grif: And I like ribbons in my hair! And I want to kiss all the boys!
Sarge: This may be the best surrender of all time.
Simmons: Okay, is that good enough?!
Rick: Yep! (turns to Doc) Alright, Doc, go ahead.
Doc runs over to the Reds.
Grif: Man, I really hope you're worth this.
Doc: Can I ask you a question? Do they put something in the water here?
Grif: Water? We ran outta water six months ago.
Doc: No water.. Then what do you drink?
Grif: Uh, you know, ketchup, uh, soy sauce, gravy, the usual.
Sarge: I only drink the blood of my enemies. And occasionally a strawberry Yoo-hoo. Or a Sarsaparilla. Grenadine, straight from the can. Deeelicious. ...Oh, occasionally I do enjoy a 'Sex on the Beach.' Or a piña colada. (singing) If you like piña coladas, hengh! Gettin' caught in the rain, hengh! And you're not in to yoga, engh! Grif just has half a brain, ungh.
Sarge keeps singing as the Reds and Doc head back to base, Tucker turns to Rick.
Tucker: Wait, how do they not have water, but we do?
Rick: Because unlike the Reds, this squad has a competent CO. I've been requesting weekly supply drops of water, food, etc.
Tucker: Huh.
The Blues then start to head back to their base.
-----END-----OF-----EPISODE-----
