Simmons and Grif run up the ramp onto the Red Base where Donut is waiting with the flag.
Donut: What happened?
Grif: (panting heavily) Big... Tank... Shooting... Whooooh!
Simmons: Damn, man, we only ran like three hundred feet. You are really out of shape.
Grif: (still panting) Fuck... You...
Donut: Where's your car?
Simmons: General Patton here had a great strategy to leave it behind.
Grif: Hey, it would have worked if that tank hadn't shown up.
Donut: You lost the jeep? Oh man, Lopez is gonna be pissed. Where is it?
The Warthog suddenly flips up on the base from below by an explosion, landing between Donut and the other two.
Grif: What the hell..!?
Sheila fires.
Grif: SON OF A BITCH!
Donut: Oh crap! (picks up the flag) What the hell is that thing?
Grif: (crouching next to the Warthog) That's the tank!
Donut: Hey uh, Grif, uh, you wanna hold the flag for a little bit?
Sheila fires.
Grif: No, keep that away from me!
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
In front of Red Base, Rick in Sheila with Tucker and Caboose beside them. Sheila fires.
Tucker: Why did you shoot the jeep all the way over here?
Rick: Because I'm fucking pissed, that's why!
Tucker: And what are you shooting at now?
Zone: Everything at Red base!
Caboose: Can I try again?
Rick & Tucker: NO!
Sheila: Target locked.
Sheila fires.
Tucker: Damn, you're really good with that tank, aren't you?
Rick: I had the chance to learn everything about driving and using a Scorpion back in the army.
Tucker: Cool. (realizes something) ...Wait a minute, what's a Scorpion?
Rick: Sheila is M808V Main Battle Tank, otherwise known as, a Scorpion.
Tucker: Cool!
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
On top of Red Base, Grif, Simmons and Donut are ducking in the stairwells as cover.
Donut: I hate to be the one to point this out guys, but I think we're screwed.
Sheila fires.
Simmons: Yeah. I have to agree with the rookie on this one.
Radio sounds.
Sarge: (on radio, from a Pelican dropship) Blood Gulch Outpost Number One. Come in, Blood Gulch Outpost, come in. Do you read me? This is Sergeant-
Grif: Oh my god, Sarge, is that you?
Sarge: Roger that, Private. I am currently in-bound to your position from Command.
Simmons: Sir, (Sheila fires in the background) this is Simmons.
Sarge: Hello, Simmons. I hope everything's gone alright while I've been gone.
Grif: Actually, sir, things are kind of hectic right now. The new rookie arrived, and somehow, he managed to (Sheila fires in the background) infiltrate the Blue Base, and now we have their flag, the Warthog is damaged, one of their (Sheila fires in the background) guys is dead, and there's this huge fucking tank about to destroy our base.
Sarge: (radio sounds) ... (more radio sounds) ...Am I talkin' to the right base?
Grif: Sarge, (Sheila fires in the background) WE. ARE GOING. TO DIE HERE!
Sarge: Well then hold tight, boys. I think I gotta solution to your little "tank" problem.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Tucker noticed the Dropships in the sky approaching.
Tucker: Uh oh.
Rick: What?
Pelican flies over Red Base, which Tucker noticed.
Tucker: Hey, Rick, (starts backing up) you might wanna get out of the tank. Like right now.
Rick: Goddamnit, it's not responding! The controls are all wrong! WHO CHANGED UP THE BUTTONS ON THIS THING?
Caboose slowly backs away, lightly whistling knowing he was the cause.
Sheila: Night vision engaged.
Tucker: Rick, get out now!
The dropship began dropping shells in front of Sheila, which explode progressively closer to the tank.
Rick: Goddamnit! Okay, Sheila, can you open the door please?
Sheila: Driver canopy open. (Zone gets out and runs away) Thank you for using the M808V Main Battle-
The shells hit Sheila, and a large explosion come, causing her to turn upside down.
Rick: Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap! (reaches Tucker, panting) Man, that was close.
Tucker: Look at the tank though.
Sheila was turned over and sparking from the damage caused by the shells.
Sheila: I'm scared, Dave. Will I dream? Daisy... (distorted, elongated) Daisy...
Caboose: Sheeeeiilaaaaa! Noooooo!
Tucker: What? No! Sheila! Sheila! W-Wait... Who's Sheila?
Caboose: Sheila's the lady in the tank. She was my friend...
Rick: She's just an AI, Caboose.
Tucker: Oh, dude! I knew you could pick up chicks in a tank!
Rick: Great... The day we get the tank, it gets fucked... (sighs) Let's get back to base and call Command.
Rick then walked back to Blue Base with Tucker and Caboose following behind.
-----END-----OF-----EPISODE-----
