Rough Diamond ~ 8 BTS Members

💜Chapter Fifteen💜

I started writing with 'I' and I'm to lazy to change it back so...

Y/N POV

A month had passed already.

I stopped doing things because I wanted to and started doing things because I had to.

What I wanted, was to die in the least painful way possible.

But that's not what I deserved.

I deserved to be tortured, emotionally and physically and die in the most painful way that existed.

I wanted to die already.

I didn't care anymore.

Cancer would take me eventually.

Still, no one knew about my cancer.

When I was in the hospital for chemo, I told BTS I was with Jisoo.

Even Jisoo didn't know.

It pained me to lie to the people I cared about most, to deceive them, knowing I would die.

Made me feel so guilty, the guilt was killing me, I hated lying to them.

I was never alone.

Someone was always with me, preventing me from committing suicide.

My cancer was only getting worse, my cancer was stage 3 now.

None of the doctors thought I would live.

I didn't even know why I was trying anymore.

I didn't deserve to live.

I deserved a slow and painful death.

I didn't know why I was still going to chemo.

I was completely bald, a wig was sewn into my head now, so nobody knew about my cancer, whenever I was at the hospital I wore a mask so only my doctor and nurse knew it was me.

My symptoms were getting worse, and it started to affect my vocals.

I couldn't hold notes for as long.

The boys were starting to notice my symptoms, but they must've shook it off as a cold because they never asked me about it.

I was nearly finished chemotherapy, I had about 2 weeks left and then I would start radiation therapy and that would allow my hair to grow back.

Chemo was working.

It was killing cancer.

But it also took a lot out of me, I didn't have much of an appetite, I was constantly tired.

I didn't get a break.

"You're hiding something." Jin decided when I was doing homework.

"I am indeed." I admitted.

"I was not expecting that." Jin admitted.

"Are you going to tell us what you're hiding?" J-hope asked.

He could speak Chinese as well.

"Nope." I replied, making them laugh. "You didn't think it would be that easy, did you?"

"I wasn't expecting you to admit you're hiding something either." Jin said.

My phone buzzed and I checked the notification.

Chemo.

"I'm going over to Jisoo." I lied as I got up with a sigh, closing my book.

"You go over to Jisoo's a lot." Hobi said.