Y/N POV
We were doing a V live, my leg was shaking as I was overthinking pretty much everything there was to overthink.
I couldn't help it, it was something I just did naturally.
Ga-in was with us, talking about something from before I joined BTS.
"You okay?" Jin whispered as he hugged me, from the side, pulling my left shoulder for a hug.
"What?" I asked, I hadn't been listening, to overwhelmed by the anxiety and overthinking
"Are you okay?" Jin repeated, and I realised now that he was speaking in Chinese.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered, not quite sure if I was lying or not.
We talked for a while, reading out the comments and laughing, but the whole time I felt like there was something bad that was going to happen.
I had been feeling dizzy the past few days, my head constantly throbbed, the light-headedness and chest pains only added to the nausea and headaches.
What if I was losing control, going crazy?
What if I couldn't bring myself back this time?
Sometimes, my arm would go numb or feel tingly or just weak. And sometimes, my heart would start rapidly beating in my chest, pounding, trying to escape.
I was losing control of my body, surely I would lose control of my mind too, what if I went crazy?
I couldn't.
It's what I deserve but I couldn't lose control, I couldn't let myself go crazy.
Before I knew it, my leg was shaking, my arm was burning, begging me to dig my nails into it, I chewed my lip slightly in response, trying to resist the urge.
"Are you okay?" Jin asked me again, in Chinese while everyone else was talking.
AUTHOR POV
Jin noticed Y/n's uneasiness, he knew something was wrong, it must've been the 'anxiety attack' but he couldn't help her if she just kept saying everything was fine.
"Mm." Y/n mumbled in response.
"Y/n, tell them about the café we went to the other day." Jimin said. "In English."
"Yummy." Y/n said in English.
"What did we see?" Namjoon prompted, speaking in English as well.
"Chinchilla!" she said.
"What else did we see?" Namjoon pressed.
Y/n knew what Namjoon wanted her to say, whenever she spoke English, she always got her 'r's and 'l's mixed up.
But she wanted to tease him, annoy him first.
"Labit." Y/n teased.
"What else did we see?" Namjoon repeated-still speaking in English-, not giving up.
"Squiller!" Y/n responded, making everyone laugh.
"Just as stupid as you look." Ga-in muttered in Korean.
"English-iii!" Jhope said. "No Korean, only Englishii."
"English too hardeu." Y/n responded, still speaking in English.
"Exactly, let's speak in Korean so Y/N's one braincell can handle speaking." Ga-in said.
"You know, if you want, we could speak in Chinese?" Y/n offered, knowing it would annoy Ga-in since she can only speak Korean.
YOU ARE READING
Rough Diamond ~ 8 BTS Members
FanfictionY/N and her sisters were inseparable, after being abused by her father, she was finally thrown out. After living on the street for months, her life finally starts to turn around as she is joins BTS, however not long after debut, tragedy struck and h...
