Mid-late January 2016
Namjoon was teaching my English, but Bang PD didn't want me to be on my ADHD medication anymore, so I kept zoning out and getting distracted by nearly everything.
"Yn!" Namjoon snapped and my head snapped to him. "Why don't you ever listen to me?!"
"It's not my fault! I'm trying-"
"No! You're not! We're getting nowhere! You don't listen to me! You keep mispronouncing things! Keep mishearing everyone!" Namjoon shouted, the shouting triggering my PTSD but Namjoon either didn't care or didn't care enough to notice.
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" I shouted back as I tried to push away the anxiety, refusing to have another panic attack.
"Namjoon don't you're-" Jin began when he noticed my half present state.
"SHUT UP HYUNG! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!" Namjoon shouted, turning to Jin and then back to me. "YOU DON'T LISTEN!"
Namjoon kept shouting, with each passing second, I found it harder and harder to stop the panic attack, harder and harder to stay calm.
My toes curled as I tried to breathe, tried to tell myself it was okay, but nothing was working.
I knew I'd have a panic attack.
I picked up my phone, shooting Jisoo a quick text before rushing out, grabbing my keys as Jin and Jungkook ran after me as I ran down out of the dorm.
As I ran out of Big Hit with Jimin, Taehyung, Jungkook and Jin chasing me, I ran to the right, scaling a wall and jumped into a field.
Not to my surprise, the others managed to climb the wall too, Jungkook catching up, I ran faster, climbing halfway up a wall and jumped through the hole, still not losing Jungkook.
I put one hand on a crumbled wall, half the height of a normal wall, swinging my legs over without my legs touching the wall, and as I expected, the ground on the other side was much lower.
The others were catching up as I ran around a corner, Jimin catching up as I saw Jisoo's car driving towards us.
"Yn! Wait!" Jimin pleaded but I ignored him and kept running as I felt the panic attack nearing.
Jisoo's car slowed and I quickly got into the back seat, Jennie immediately hugging me as I gasped for breaths.
My heart pounded as I trembled, tears flowing down my cheeks as memories rushed back.
Appa.
The kidnapping.
Vision flashed into my head as the world toppled from side to side, chills took over my body as I sweated, my body going dumb as it felt as if I'd throw up.
"It's okay, he didn't mean it." Jennie promised a someone knocked on the car window.
"YN!" Jungkook shouted as he banged on the window, but in response, Jisoo drove off.
What if I lost control?
What if I couldn't calm down?
I know what Namjoon wanted to say.
I knew what he meant.
He wanted to call me stupid, a bitch, useless, selfish.
And honestly?
He was right.
I wasn't deserving of Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa or Rosé.
Of Bangtan.
To be in Bangtan.
Of life.
Lisa, Jennie and Rosé helped to calm me down while Jisoo drove to their dorm.
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Rough Diamond ~ 8 BTS Members
FanfictionY/N and her sisters were inseparable, after being abused by her father, she was finally thrown out. After living on the street for months, her life finally starts to turn around as she is joins BTS, however not long after debut, tragedy struck and h...
