Ties In The Torn World

Rage And Resolve

Carl's POV: 

"up! higher, a little higher" my dad shouted to Aaron who was helping rebuild the walls using a rope and pully system from our watch towers. since the commotion brought walkers, I was on killing duty. 

the past couple weeks have been a blur, from the near death experience with Negan, with thoughts that June might actually have a heart, the betrayal, almost dying, again, then coming back to June absolutely making a wreck of Alexandria, and now us working for weeks to re build it. everything was all just so f*cking confusing. 

I hear the bubbly growl of a walker nearing me, I turn around, sighing heavily as I grab my knife, digging it deep into its soft head. it goes limp and falls to the floor, I look down at it. 

that's what I'd do to June one day. 

I'm not being overdramatic or stupid when I say she sincerely is the epitome of evil, she is absolutely vile and horrid to do something like what she did. whatever monster Negan created, raised and taught, will ruin the f*cking planet one day. I sincerely think the end of times wont come with blaring trumpets, but June, standing in the middle of a fiery red earth that burned bright with her malice.

speaking of trumpets, Gabriel came up from behind me, scaring me slightly. 

"the crops are all ruined" he sighed "we'd have to go on another run if we want to re build the green house" 

"I know" I say flatly "I'll get it done" 

"if you don't mind, I'd like to come with you" he suggested. I look him dead in the eyes. 

"no" I was in absolutely no mood to deal with this right now, I was mad, really, really mad. 

"hm, I can sense your tense" he nods and I give him a look.

"I'm having a service later tonight, sometime around seven, your welcome to come join us if you--" 

"no offence, Gabriel, but I don't really believe in all that stuff" I say bluntly, turning to face him completely. the black goo on my knife that was the walkers blood dripped onto the floor next to the body.

Gabriel stares at me, silently. I feel, odd. its not a judgmental stare, weirdly enough, its the complete opposite.

"I understand, the doors are always wide open but your heart has to be too" he says, just walking off. 

what the hell does that mean. 

I wasn't born into a religious family, so I was never taught any of that God stuff. I guess the only time I've ever prayed was when Sofia went missing right at the beginning. I don't like thinking about the people I've lost, it makes my heart heavy for absolutely no reason.  

I do envy Gabriel a little bit, he always seems happy, welcoming anything and anyone. 

I rub my eyes, seeing they've got the last wall up, they just needed to reinforce it and everything's back to normal and everyone's happy. a couple of the kids are pretty traumatized but it's nothing they won't get over. 

"hey Carl" I turn around to the sound of my name, its Michonne "you okay?" she asks.

I nod immediately "yeah, why?" she puts a hand on my shoulder, leading me back to our house. 

"I hear you walking around at night, your not sleeping" she says and I freeze.

sh*t.

"yeah I'm fine I just..." I shrug, not really knowing where I was going with that statement. 

"you still shaken up?" she questioned as we continue walking. 

"no, no, hell no" I shake my head.