2 things, im gonna go see an amy shark concert in october which im really looking forward to, and 2.. i got to see my girlfriendddd
happy happy, love her so damn much..
anywho.. someone texted me today and i needa reply to that because i said i would.. but honestly i am kinda mad too.. they say they hate me literally daily and tell me to stfu but then say that its fake? i can get over the loss of a friend.. done it many times before but for them to just go back and fourth its annoying, especially cuz they have other friends they could hang out with but they chose to be around me, and i hang around people they dont like.
i dont know what i am, im definately not straight, but not lesbian, i dont think im bi and i might be pan, i hate being called a straggotand they call me that even after i told them i have a girlfriend. you know how many people ive told? 3. one of my best friends, the person who's calling me a straggot, and this guy who i used to be really close with. theres this guy in a few of my classes who i think of as a friend and i told him i was straight because its not his business as to my sexuality but now im a liar? no im not a fucking liar because i dont know what i fucking am. the only little lie i told as that im straight but thats not even important, im still figuring myself out and ive met some damn homophobic people before and id rather just be fucking normal. why is it do damn hard to be alive..
this isnt the whole.. conversation.. arguement.. thing.. i know ive messed up in this friendship and thats on me, i can take ownership of that but its the main thing that bothers me
they dont have to be around me and thats what shits me. when i meet someone, after the firt few encounters i'll tell them hey, i have these toxic tendencies, like not thinking, at all, words come out and theres nothing going on in my head behind it, i can be physical yes and i know im strong, but dont fucking come up to me while im eating trying to start shit, especially if you cant take it. i know what im good at and what i need to work on, ive worked damn hard to be where i am with my art and my passions so when someone starts talking shit ill say fuck off.
people are fucking annoying.. theres like.. 1 or 2 people at the school im at now who i can actually say are my friend(s), and then i cant wait for fridays when i cn go to youth and see my best friend, my other really good friend, and ofc my gf. most of the time i do fuck all with my gf in the bathrooms nd talk shit about some fuckheads at school. bloody love doing that, especially about this homophobic, fatphobic, and just downright annoying person, but i need to let off that steam or ill fucking snap at the people i would dish about.. istg..
anyways im tired and i told my gf i would go to tsleep after writing this so.. 8:24pm night nightttt
