i fucking hate this so much.
my dad keeps on yelling at us, calling us idiots and said we're dangerous, ofc he has civil conversations with my little brother but the rest of us are fucking idiots. i want to yell at him and say well fine if we're dangerous and we cant do shit right then we aint wanna come back here but im scared that he'll slap me or something, ive had dreams that he fucking beat me to death so i aint wanting to try anything. he hasnt hit me recently but he used to do it at least 3 times every day we were here, probably from when i was 6 to 10 and i was here for 2 days every fucking week.
i dont know where to put this.. im so so so tired and done with this and ik this whole post is out of context but i need to get it out. i hate him. i hate him so much.
and fucking on top of that she isnt talking to me. im not sure what i've done but ive fucked with them in some way or theyre in trouble but i havent talked to them in ages so i dont fucking know, ive gone maybe a week without talking to them and its only been a day but thats so strange for us, we can talk for 4 hours straight. yesterday it was less than 3 minuets, really.. i looked at the time for our msgs, and the day before that was less than 5 minuets. what is going on... what the fuck did i do..
i cant wait to go home tomorrow so i can just be done with him and all his fucking shit.
OH
i fucking cut my arm so now there is a... cut.. there arent any other words to describe that but its like 1-1.5cm long so now i cant wear anything where my shoulders are showing or my damn family will see.. also yeah ik SH isnt a good outlet for stress but fuck.. i cant yell or punch or cry so i dont know what to do...
just.. fuck life.. so so so done with lifeee
bai baii :) <3
