"last time i checked your love life was a pile of shit"
irdfk anymore... do they love me still or do i stop caring..
its annoying how much ive tried and gotten nowhere
and yes i know they're busy but like srsly. i message what?10-20 times
ik that sounds like itd be annoying but it doesnt mater. i text when somethings funny. or im bored.
then i think oh they dont need to know that im probably wasting their time
they get mad at me anyways!
and i try to meet up and they.are.always.busy.
and then after those texts i send what i get back is one line.
i didnt bother responding and ik theyll be mad at me for that but i really dont care
i havent cared about anything for weeks and they are once again busy and dont have time to talk to me, to be there for me, and i feel like actual shit because of it.
i dont want to be in their way.
i dont want to be annoying
i dont want them to hate me
and yet, i do.
i want them to hate me.
the amount of shit i say and think about them is toxic and i realise that. (when i say toxic i dont mean like hit them or -purposefully- being rude/mean to em)
i want them to hate me but i dont want to walk away from them because they might like me?
ok this is just getting confusing...
i want them to hate me because im clingy and annoying and jealous
i dont want them to hate me because i want love
i want them to leave because theyd be better off
i dont want to leave me because i am scared of being alone
i want them to again, leave
but im not sure if i love them
like i do but those feelings come easily and go so hard. then i feel like shit all over again
yeah idk i need help...
gn ig..
