Solitude

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Solitude is the nice way of putting "Alone". 

I'm alone. Cally won't talk to me because once I told them what I did to Taylor. They said they needed me to give them space. And my debut album drops in twenty minutes. And I'm sitting alone in my bed. 

I hear a knock at my apartment door, and I walk over to it opening it just a crack. I see her fuzzy blonde hair. And I open the door completely. She has a sorry look on her face, and I wonder what for. "Cally explained why you did it". 

"I didn't know you knew them?" I say slowly. 

"They blew up my phone until I didn't have a choice". Taylor says and I let her in. I'm immediately self-aware of my cluttered apartment. But Taylor doesn't say anything. She sets a bag on my bench and pulls out a cake, the icing has stuck to the box a bit. She pulls out candles and a lighter. 

"I was worried, you would have people over already and be celebrating". She says after a minute's silence, and I stand puzzled. 

"It's not my birthday Taylor. My birthday's in February". She snickers. 

"I know when your birthday is. Your album comes out tonight. That's a big deal Lucile". She explains and I make an O shape with my mouth. 

"Well, thank you this means a lot, especially after I ruined your life." 

Taylor looks at me sadly. "Have you been telling yourself that?". I nod as she sits on a stool on one side of the island while I stand on the other side. "You didn't ruin anything. I have the best paid press team ever. 

"Oh, yeah. Of course,". She looks at me worried. Then lifts my chin up and stares into my eyes. 

"Lucile. Are you doing alright in this little apartment. Cally told me they stopped talking to you". She is literally God in human form. 

"I'm doing alright, I like my little apartment. Sorry about the clutter". 

Taylor frowns a little at me then lets it go. I pass her a fork and I take a fork, and we eat the cake together. It's slightly waxy because we forgot the candles were lit when we were talking. My album drops and she plays it on her phone immediately. 

I shower while she listens in my kitchen. Then I come out wearing a long sweater and shorts. My hair is curly from being wet. When I walk in, she's three songs from the end and we don't say anything. She keeps listening while I make cookie batter. 

I put the cookies in the oven and start tidying the place as she listens to the last song. I expect her to say something, but she doesn't she hits play again and it starts from the first song. "If you don't mind, I'm going to listen again before I give you, my opinion." 

"Yeah, all good". I answer putting a stack of books away in the respective shelves. I pass her a glass of water while she listens, and she sips it every now and then. I'm sitting on my sofa reading Persuasion by Jane Austen for the second time. 

The sun is coming up by the time she finishes. She turns to me, and I put a bookmark in my book looking at her. "You're going to win a Grammy for this" Is the first thing she says. I laugh nervously. 

"I can't Grammy nominations are tomorrow. Entries ended a week ago". 

She shakes her head at me dismissively. "The year after then, you will. It's a masterpiece. It's actual art. You're so poetic and artsy". I blush. 

"That means a lot coming from you". 

"Because I'm famous or because you have a crush on me?". It's after she says it that she realizes. "That was a joke, I didn't mean actually". 

I clear my throat and nod. "How's Travis?". 

"We broke up, were still really good friends though, and I'll go to his games. It was just hard with long distance and all". She explains and I nod again. 

"What would you do if I did?". I ask and she looks confused. 

"Did what?". She's so innocent. I smirk at her. 

"Did, have a crush on you?". Her eyes go wide and her jaw slack. 

"Oh, well I suppose. I'd be flattered. And I'd say that you are a good kisser." She replies and I tilt my head. 

"Am I? I can't remember what kissing you was like. Maybe we would have to do it again to rejog my memory?" I bravely flirt. 

"Only to rejog your memory". 

"Of course,".  

 ,,,

aqua; for mama and papa by Lucile Grey

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aqua; for mama and papa by Lucile Grey

horses

goodwill

opera

cinnamon doughnuts

boater

nursing school

foliage ft. noah kahan

eloise

orphanage ft. pheobe bridgers

where did I go when

aquamarine

,,,

@itslucilegrey- 

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@itslucilegrey

aqua; for mama and papa, is out now everywhere. go stream it on whatever streaming service you use. i had so much fun recording this and i got to work with my favorite artists @noahkahanmusic and @pheobebridgers. tour dates out soon. 

                          liked by @callydavis, @judegrey, @gracieabrams, and 1,453,897 others

|@judegrey- so proud of you sis, mum and dad would be too. 

|@callydavis- woohoo, go stream it now everyone or I will hunt you down!

       |@itslucilegrey- ily so much. come over bae. 


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