basset hound nightgown t.s

Ol' Saint Nick

I wake up on Christmas morning with a new perspective on life, the house is quiet since it's so early in the morning. I walk out of my room and downstairs into the kitchen where I see my grandfather cooking. I sigh and roll my eyes with affection.  

"Grandad, let me help you with that". I say walking beside him and smiling. 

"Lucie, no no dear, I've got this. It's tradition. Go wake your brother up and we can open presents!" He exclaims as excited as I've ever seen him. He's got both his little babies in one house, and we all know this is going to be the last Christmas like this. 

I nod and squeeze his shoulder, sportingly. Climbing the steps back up to Jude's room. My fluffy socks patter on the wooden steps. Melodically. 

The door is slightly ajar, so I push it further open and see him sitting up in bed. His room is full of machines and medical equipment, and I bite my tongue to stop from crying. He sees me and smiles. "Grandad send you up. He's been talking about today for months". 

"Yeah, yeah he did." 

We laugh together like the old days, and I go sit next to him. resting my head on his shoulder. "What am I going to do?" I say sadly. He stays quiet for a moment then chuckles. 

'If you forgot to get me a gift, I really don't know what you're going to do Luce". I sit up and look him dead in the eyes, and he drops the smile. "You are going to carry on, become more famous than your little girl crush Taylor Swift. And tell Cally to call me back cause I'm dying so I should get one kiss goodbye". 

I smile sadly. "Oh Jude". I burry my face in his neck and he hugs me resting his chin on the top of my head. 

"You'll be alright sunshine." He fondly says and I nod. 

My phone starts ringing, and I dig it out of my boxer short pocket. My ringtone is the old Alanis song 'Not the Doctor" my personal favorite. I see it's Taylor and go to hang up but Jude swipes to answer and gives me a look that tells me I have to answer her. 

I give him an irritated look and slap him gently on the shoulder. Then I bring the phone to my ear and step out of the room. Walking onto the balcony. "Taylor?". I say gently and I hear her gasp from the other end. 

"Lucile! I was so worried. I haven't heard from you. Merry Christmas. Where are you? Are you okay. What's going on?" She rants and I can't help but smile. 

"Merry Christmas Tay, I'm fine. I'm in Chicago with my family." I say calmly and I can hear her breathing on the other end of the line. Then I hear shuffling in the background and a male's voice I recognize to be Travis's. I frown. 

"Oh! That's so great. Good for you. Well, let me know when you get back and we will catch up. I left a gift in your apartment". 

"Breaking and entering now?" I joke and she chuckles. 

"Sorry, I guess I was just eager to see you and I didn't know if you were just there and not letting me in". She drifts of sadly at the end and I sigh. 

"Why wouldn't I let you in Tay?" I ask flipping it on her. 

"Yeah, of course. I don't know. I just had this crazy idea that you were upset about me and Trav. But you know I don't like girls, so it was silly I know". 

I bite back tears as she talks and nod even though she can't see me. "Yeah, silly you". 

"Well, I'll let you get back to Christmas. Travis has a game tonight, and I have to pick my parents up on the way. Merry Christmas Lucile". She hangs up and I stand there for a moment. 

".... Merry Christmas Tay". I whisper to the air as it plays with my hair. 

,,,

I'm sitting cross legged on the floor like when I was a little kid, and my Grandad is passing out gifts. It's bittersweet and beautiful how similar it is to when we were children. Jude opens his gift from me and bites back a chuckle. 

"Wow, a tee shirt with Cally's face on it. I'm sure they love that." He jokes and I laugh. 

"Look at the rest". I say and he peels back the wrapping paper even further. He drops it with weak trembling hand and my Grandad has to help him. I turn my head away from them so they can't see how sad that makes me. 

"Oh, sweet little Lucie got me signed Cd's. These are all the one's I used to play with dad in the car. Bowie, Bon Jovi, wow this is great Lucie. I can't believe you can easily get your hands on his stuff.

Grandad gets Jude a photo of him, me and our parents when we were young. Neither of us have ever seen this photo and it makes us emotional. Grandad bless his soul gets me Chiefs merch and I want to throw it because I know Taylor is with Travis right now, tangling lips. Holding hands. 

Jude gives me a little box and it's filled with letters with dates for the next year on them. there is 365 of them. "Don't open them until the exact dates. I worked hard on that". I smile and pat him on the nee. 

Grandad gets a leather-bound edition of all the snuggle pot and cuddle pie books from me he used to read it to us when we were little, but he lost his copies during moving. He smiles at me grandly. "Beautiful girl". 

Jude got Grandad a dog. I bloody dog and I roll my eyes at him. 

"1. How did you sneak it around. 2. Why oh god why. 3. She's so cute. 4. My gift looks stupid to this." I joke and everyone laughs. She's a cavoodle named Pheobe. 

"It's so you have someone once I'm gone" Jude says and we all go silent. 

"Don't say things like that in front of your sister my boy". Grandad says and Jude rolls his eyes. 

"I've come to terms with it and so should you". And again, he sounds like Beth March. He sees that I'm thinking that clearly because he quotes her next. "It's like the tide going out. It goes slowly but it can't be stopped". 

I look at him earnestly. Tilting my head. "I'll stop it".