Fate | Baldwin IV

strings

"My lady, I brought you breakfast." Aisha approached my bed with slow steps, carrying a tray of food.

I sighed, pulling the blanket all the way to my nose, "I am not hungry." I mumbled, my voice muffled.

"But you haven't eaten all day," she insisted, setting the tray down on a small table nearby. "You must be hungry."

"I am not."

"My lady, you refused to eat dinner too," she walked over to my side and stood by the bed with her hands on her hips, her tone growing more concerned. "I cannot let you skip any more meals."

I turned away from her, shielding my eyes from the strong light coming from the windows. "Aisha, I really don't want to eat anything."

Letting out a sigh, she plopped on the side of the bed, her weight sinking into the mattress. "How will you recover if you don't eat? It's been days and you still haven't gotten any better since you had the fever."

"I am well all right." I replied, curling up into a ball under the blanket. "I just want to be left alone."

"My lady..." she pleaded, "You haven't left your room in days, you refuse to eat and see people...I am starting to really worry about you."

"You needn't." I said sharply. "It is better if I stay in my room anyway." I added, adjusting my tone lower. "At least I won't have to bear the unpleasant looks."

"My lady, I'm begging you to be sensible." she said as she reached out to smooth the back of the blanket wrapped around my body, her voice softened. "You cannot hide away and punish yourself forever just because some people are simply rude to you."

"Those are not just 'some' people," I snapped, sitting up slightly. "They can have me hanged!"

"Oh please," she scoffed gently. "You will starve yourself before that can even happen."

"I'm not jesting, Aisha!" I exclaimed, my voice cracking. "I'm constantly threatened here." I took a deep breath to steady myself, turning my face away from her. "I never should've accepted the king's offer."

"But..." she began hesitantly, her eyes filled with concern. "What would become of me if his majesty knew about your condition? That you don't eat?"

"Nothing." I replied firmly. "It's not your fault."

"But it is," she insisted. "I am supposed to make sure you are well taken care of."

I shook my head. "This concerns me, not you, and not the king."

"My lady," she said, her eyes earnest as she set her gaze on me. "I am worried not just as your servant, but as your friend too." I averted my eyes briefly under the intensity of hers. "It is not my fear of not doing my duty well, but my fear of your worsening state that I am telling you this."

I looked up at her, her words bringing a sudden weight to the conversation.

"You must stop dwelling on the past." she continued, her voice filled with gentle determination. "The lady that I know is not a timid woman who is easily swayed." She sat up straight slightly. "She is a kind, confident woman who can see and appreciate the kindness in others and knows how to stand her ground when faced with others who are not."

I sighed in defeat. "They say horrible things about me, Aisha." I breathed, tears welling up in my eyes. "Behind my back, to my face..."

Turning my head away briefly, I took a moment to compose myself in silence. Aisha sat still as a stone beside me, allowing me the space I needed without interrupting.

"I never asked to be here, I never asked to be in this position." I continued. "Yet I am treated like some power-hungry wench jumping on every opportunity to seduce the king. I am sick of it."