Fate | Baldwin IV

secrecy

The scorching sun was high up in the sky, dust motes dancing in the beams of light. I leaned back in my seat where I studied, surrounded by scrolls, parchments and open books near the windows of my room. The scent of old paper and ink was a comfort, reminding me of my father's study back in Constantinople. I had forgotten how much I missed my home, the breathtaking view of Marmara Sea from our balcony and the idle days I would spend lounging away inside. Now I sat in the palace of Jerusalem, trying to overcome the loneliness that the king had felt sorry for. I had been doing well until he mentioned it, since then I was reminded again, as I am now once again.

I read and read until my head hurt and my body ached from the heat. Aisha was there with me, humming as she focused on her needlework across the room, sitting on a chair upholstered in rich burgundy fabric, something I could never afford if I were to pay.

The quiet of the atmosphere was only interrupted by the knock on the door. "Come in," I said, my eyes still on the book before me. Aisha stood up, ready to leave the room if necessary.

As the door opened slowly, I looked up to find Balian standing there with a gentle smile on his face. "My lady," he greeted, his voice low so as not to disturb the quiet ambiance of the room. "I see you are hard at work."

"Good afternoon," I said, returning his smile. "Just Y/n is sufficient. You needn't address me so formally. How can I help you?"

He nodded as he walked in with slow steps. "I just wanted to ensure you are safe and see if you need anything, before I leave for Ibelin." he said, his eyes scanning the room out of habit. "I am not sure if I will be returning soon, but the king asked me to check on you before I go."

I looked down at the floor with a smile on my face. "Thank you. I appreciate it."

"Of course." He nodded. "You may send a word if you need anything. I will be of service."

Taking a deep breath, I set the book aside and slowly walked up to him. He stood still while my eyes locked on his, my hands linked behind my back. I stood not too far, keeping the safe distance between us. I tilted my head, studying his face. His features were strong, weathered by years of battle and the harsh sun, yet there was a softness in his eyes that spoke of kindness. "The king must be trusting you a lot."

He looked at me as if he was trying to figure out my intentions, a slight furrow in his brow.  "He must be trusting you more." he said, carefully.

The corners of my lips curled up into a smile. "Why do you think so?"

Balian's eyes shifted to the hilt of the dagger poking out from my belt. "Because you can walk around with that."

My gaze followed his as my smile grew wider. I looked up and pointed at him with my chin. "You're walking around with a sword."

"I am a knight." he replied. "A woman who carries a dagger is far more dangerous than a knight with a sword."

He stared at me intently. "Especially if that woman is as close to the king as you are."

His words amused me. "I am close to the king because of a dagger I held once. It wasn't pointing at him."

He took a moment before he gave me a nod with a slight grin. "The king is a smart man indeed. Do not hesitate to reach out to me if you need any help."

"I won't." I said. "Have a safe journey."

He bowed without a sound and left the room. I stood there for a moment, feeling the air settle around me, his presence still lingering.

I turned to Aisha standing in the corner as soon as the door closed. We looked at each other briefly before breaking into laughter, the sound a release of the tension that had built up.