Fate | Baldwin IV

letter

Late into the night, I stared into the mirror as I brushed my hair, caught off guard by my reflection. The disheveled state of my appearance seemed to reflect my inner turmoil.

The room was dimly lit with a few candles scattered around, one side of my face reflecting the warm yellow light while the other remained overshadowed.

I studied my reflection closely, the rhythmic strokes of the brush against my hair a soothing yet restless ritual. Until then, I had been so absorbed in trying to keep up with everything that I hadn't given much thought to how I looked. Oftentimes I felt at peace with my appearance, but the kiss—the sudden, intense kiss that I hadn't expected at all—had changed everything. Having to bear the weight of being left abruptly after such an intimate exchange tugged at me, and I found myself questioning if it was because of my growing concerns of not being good enough for him. The thought of his gaze, once something I barely considered, now haunted me.

I adjusted the brush in my hand, lost in thought, when a quiet knock interrupted my reverie. My eyes lingered on the reflection for a moment longer before I got up from my seat and opened the door. The young page stood with a neutral expression, offering me a folded letter with a slight bow.

I took the letter with trembling hands as the boy excused himself in silence. Closing the door with a soft thud, I rushed over to the candlelit table and broke it open, the anticipation making my fingers clumsy.

The letter was a longer one, the handwriting unmistakably his. My breath caught in my throat as I read the words with urgency.

My Dearest Y/n,

I am sincerely sorry for what I did when I was caught in the moment.

May the Lord forgive us for succumbing to temptation. And may you forgive me, for I acted too fast out of arrogance and did not even seek your consent before placing my scarred lips upon your fair skin.

I would like you to know that it was never my intention to put you at risk for this disease by giving in to my foolish desires. If anything ever happens to you, you have my greatest physicians ready to treat you in the best way possible.

I understand if you do not wish to see me after this. If that is the case, send me a belonging of yours, something small and possibly worthless other than its priceless worth for being in your possession, for me to keep and cherish the memory I got to spend with you momentarily. I do not wish to receive it, but if I do, I will arrange a house in the finest location of our lands with several servants to be given in your possession and I will not cross your path again.

I am willing to provide for you should you ask for more, so do not hesitate to voice your concerns.

You have been too kind to me, and for that I am deeply thankful. You truly are something else, I became sure of it when I saw the light in your eyes.

My only hope is that you can forgive me and continue to think of me as the kind man in your heart.

Yours forever,

Baldwin

I stared at the paper in my hands blankly, my heart sinking in my chest as my eyes went over and over on the words written with such elegant precision. "What...?" I whispered into thin air, my brows furrowed.

I folded the letter in one swift motion and walked over to my dresser to grab a cloak, hastily putting it on before hurrying out of the room. My steps were urgent but deliberate, my grip on the letter tight. I walked past several guards on patrol in the torchlit corridors, all the way to the king's chambers.

One of the guards lifted a hand to stop me when I reached the doors, a stern look on his face. "The king is unavailable at the moment."

"Is he?" I raised an eyebrow, a hint of challenge in my tone as I walked past him by force and pushed the door open. He reached out to stop me but it was too late; the doors swung wide open, revealing the sight of the king sitting on his desk with Raymond, their conversation clearly interrupted. They both looked up to see me struggling with the guard, a look of surprise on their face.