Fate | Baldwin IV

the court

"Abdicate..." Raymond repeated, the word hanging in the air like a death knell. His brows furrowed, eyes wide with shock and disbelief as he leaned forward, gripping the arms of the chair. "And leave the throne to Guy?"

"Yes." I replied, my voice steady.

Raymond's face paled as he processed my words, the lines of his weathered face deepening with concern. "But, my lord," he began, his voice strained, nearly pleading, "you cannot do this."

"And why shouldn't I?" I asked, my head tilted.

"That man doesn't even know how to lead an army, let alone rule Jerusalem!" he exclaimed, his voice rising with a rare intensity, his frustration and fear bleeding through his usual composed demeanor. "It would be the downfall of us."

I met his gaze, unflinching. "That's why he came here, Raymond," I said, "to be the king. Sooner or later, I was going to abdicate anyway."

He shook his head vehemently, as if trying to ward off the very thought. "Sire, I urge you to reconsider your decision!" His voice trembled slightly, betraying the depth of his concern. "Our truce with Salahuddin is still very fresh, and it's only been a few months since Guy married your sister." He stared at me, eyebrows drawn in plead. "We would be extremely vulnerable to potential attacks."

"I don't know how much time is left for me, Raymond." I said, my voice softer now, more resigned. I leaned back in my chair, the leather creaking under my weight as I sighed. "I personally asked someone to come and take the crown from me, I promised to hand Jerusalem over." I paused briefly, meeting his gaze. "I know you don't like him, but it will be Guy. There's no point in waiting."

His eyes searched mine, desperate, as though looking for any sign of doubt, any hesitation that he could latch onto and use to sway me. "My lord, I don't understand." he said, his voice heavy with confusion as he shook his head, "You can still rule! Why would you want to abdicate when you're still capable?"

I turned away, my gaze drifting to the window where the moonlight spilled through the heavy drapes, illuminating the city beneath us, a fragile peace hanging over it like a shroud. "I want to live while I still can," I murmured, more to myself than to Raymond. "I want to retire to Tyre, live by the sea." My voice trailed off as I stared outside distantly, "I want to spend my limited time without the stress and the burdens of the crown." I turned to him once more. "Please, understand it."

His voice grew firmer, more insistent, as he leaned forward, his eyes dark with concern. "Your majesty, I don't think you understand." he said, "Once you leave, there will be no more peace. You will be more stressed than ever. God knows what will happen in your absence."

I closed my eyes for a moment before I spoke, my voice low. "If Jerusalem cannot stand without me, then it's doomed to fall anyway."

"You could change its fate," he said, his tone bordering on desperation. "But know that if you abdicate now it will fall. Everything that you've worked for, the peace you've tried so hard to keep..." His voice trailed off, laden with sorrow. "You will have to see them come crumbling with your own two eyes. Do you truly wish to experience that?"

I took a deep breath, studying his expression for a moment as I clasped my hands in my lap. "I want to get married, Raymond."

He blinked, momentarily thrown by the sudden shift in conversation. "You can still do that!" he insisted, a hint of hope in his tone. "You needn't abdicate to have a wife."

I smiled to myself under the mask. "So you will support me in court, then?" I tilted my head, my voice calm but laced with an undercurrent of challenge. "When I announce my engagement to Lady Y/n?"