The Alpha's Addiction [BXB]

Chapter 39: Empty

Cyrus's hope haunts me. That snapshot of him holding my stomach, excited that his pup could be in there. It hurts like nothing else.

In the moment, I managed to brush it off. Roll my eyes and change the subject. But I don't think I can keep up that unbothered facade. Not when I crumbled the second I was alone, sobbing as soon as my door closed and sinking to the floor. I'd gone to the bathroom, tempted to shatter the mirror at the sight of the person staring back at me. When had I come to loathe him so much? To wish he was everything he was not?

A part of me aches to tell Cyrus. To rid the hold Beau has over me with the information he's attained. But I don't think I could handle Cyrus's disappointment. What comes after the point of telling him?

Because there's no going back, once it's been said. It'll be laid bare: I can't provide him pups, much less a biological heir. Who knows if the laws of this Pack allow a Luna to leave that duty unfulfilled, despite how much progress Cyrus has implemented. There are fundamental aspects to a pack that don't change—one of them being that a leader must pass down his bloodline.

And if I can't be the one to help him with that... I don't think I could stomach it—watching another step up to fill that role. An omega that's not me giving Cyrus the one thing he wants so badly.

I need... I need to do something. Maybe something can still be done for my case. Juliet can concoct some serum, some herbal solution that could heal my womb. There might be a combination she hasn't tried yet, a page of a book missed—something.

Which is why I find myself stopping at the hospital after dropping Oliver at school. I want to talk to Juliet in general. The woman has always been a safe space, her comfort and assurance overwhelmingly relieving. Even if there may be no remedy now--we could work together to find one. I'm sure she wants an heir for Cyrus as much as I do.

I'm relieved to find it busy and bustling inside the building, everyone too occupied with their own tasks to notice me. I make my way down the hall to the larger room in the back, where Juliet's office lay. She only has curtains surrounding her space on all sides. I see that they're drawn closed.

That's strange...she usually never has them fully closed. There must be a serious issue. I sit on the chair outside, content to wait my turn when I hear that god-awful pipsqueak's voice coming from within.

"-and mother will be so happy!" he's saying

"He certainly will," a deep, gruff chuckle follows, and my eyes widen. Cyrus's father. Alaric. What could they be talking about?!

I stand up from the chair, checking to make sure no one's looking at me before I move to a gap in the curtains, peaking in.

Juliet is smiling. Petting Beau's hair. "I'm so relieved your exam is free of any abnormalities, dear. You used to get those dreadful chills when you were a pup!"

Alaric pulls Juliet close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Well done, my love," he praises and she flushes, leaning in to his touch. It's obvious that though they don't get along, she still loves him very much. "We've got the perfect, healthy Luna for our son. I'm sure he'll bear a strapping alpha for the lineage to pass down to."

"It's a promise!" Beau gushes, letting Juliet squish his cheeks in her hands.

I watch on, all the noise surrounding me drowned out. This was supposed to be me. This was what I should've experienced--a heartfelt meeting with my inlaws about the prospect of a baby with my mate.

And yet, I stand here, hiding away like a coward but still looking on. An outsider to the joyful scene. It feels like staring into the most beautiful painting of your dreams and understanding that you'll never be in it. Never be a part of any of it.