||44-Trouble||

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Song~ I love you - Billie Eilish
Song~ Watch - Billie Eilish
Song~ Nightcrawler-Travis Scott

Song~ I love you - Billie EilishSong~ Watch - Billie Eilish Song~ Nightcrawler-Travis Scott

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I missed her.

The decision I made two years ago broke me. I know why I did it, and for good reason. Yet knowing how much I hurt her- how much I probably hurt Lucien, that hurts.

It hurts much more than myself selfish needs to say that I missed them when it was my decision in the first place.

She may never understand why I did what I did, and that's okay. I knew the full story- the reason for the actions I chose to take- and I'd leave it up to her if she wanted to hear it.

She doesn't need my comfort. She has a family. A loving family. A loving best friend- Lucien. A loving boyfriend. I'm not needed.

So why should I come into her life and fuck it all up?

She deserves to be happy.

Once all this is over I'll go. To where? I'm not sure. Far away from her life, from Lucien's life. I just want them to be happy.

And if me leaving their lives for good is what they want- need to be happy, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

They are my little siblings. My bestfriend's. And the two people I've sacrificed everything for.

She's angry. I know it.

Lucien will be angry. I know it.

I mean, your best friend supposedly died two years ago and now shows up from the dead.

If anything Dove probably thinks I'm a brainwashed traitor who is working against. Working from the inside to take her down.

The only thing keeping me from crumbling is the hope that maybe she remembers the person I am. That I'd never do that, that I'd never let them do those things to me.

She was- is my little sister. I'd die before betraying her.

I just hope she knows that.

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