FEAR [n.h]

28.

Maddison's POV.

I fucking hated nightmares. Waking up startled, screaming, gasping for air as my heart raced, looking all around, paranoid. Anxiety filling my body. And what I hated the most, is that almost every time I had these nightmares, I couldn't remember what happened in them at all. And this time was no different.

I sat up on the bed as soon as my eyes opened, trying to catch my breath as tears streamed through my face.

God, I'm fucking terrified.

I shook my head, trying to stop the tears, but it wasn't working at all, and suddenly the door opened, making me scream.

"Hey! It's okay, it's just me, you are okay," Niall said as soon as I screamed, walking towards the bed in a quick motion with his eyes glued on mine. "You are okay."

I stared at him in silence, not being able to say a word as tears kept streaming through my face and I kept hyperventilating. He looked worried, his brows frowned as he breathed quickly. I had probably woke him up when I screamed, as his eyes looked puffy and he was just wearing a pair of sweat pants, his hair all messy.

"Nightmare?" He asked, standing beside the bed, not coming close to me.

I nodded, and he sighed.

"I get them too," He said, almost whispering. "Can I do something? You need to calm down, Mads, try to take deep breaths, please, you are safe."

"Am I?" I managed to say, looking at him, and he nodded. "I'm not safe, Niall, are you kidding? I've been in danger for the past month at least, this is not-I'm not-"

"Hey," he said, sitting next to me on the bed, "I know all of this is scary, I'm not saying it isn't, trust me, I'm just saying that right now, at this moment, you are safe, Mads, trust me."

"Trust-trust you?" I said, looking at him while I tried to wipe the tears from my face. "How can I trust you when all you do is push me away or hurt me? You know I feel safe around you, and you keep pushing me away when all I need right now is to feel safe."

"Mads, believe me, I do what I do to keep you safe, I-"

"Stop, stop it!" I screamed. "I'm not your ex or whoever that girl the guys keep mentioning is! I'm not her, Niall, and whatever happened to her, is not going to happen to me, and if it does, it won't be because you are close to me!"

"You don't know what you are talking about," He snapped, getting up from the bed. "So stop it."

"Well then, enlighten me! Tell me so I can understand why you keep pushing me away when there is something clearly going on between us, tell me!"

"No!" He yelled, making me jump in my seat. "Madison if you know what's good for you, shut up!"

I stared at him, anger growing inside of me. He was not going to treat me like this again, not this time. I was done.

I stood up without taking my eyes off him, as he stared at me with an angry expression on his face, but a flicker of curiosity in his eyes. I went straight to him and I stood in front of him, so close I could feel his breath on my face.

He looked at me for a second and tried to take a step back, but I quickly grabbed his wrist so he wouldn't, and he looked back at me.

"Let me go, Madison, don't make me repeat it," He said, and I shook my head.

"No," I said without releasing my hold on his wrist. "You don't get to tell me that I'm safe when you don't feel safe too."

"What are you talking about? I feel safe, I know I'm- we are safe, trust me." He spat, and I shook my head again.