Strangers

unity day

what the hell just happened? did i seriously just have sex with bellamy blake? the man that i'm supposed to hate. and then yell at finn, who i love? i didn't even mean it. having sex with bellamy was just to get my mind off of finn. 

i sit on my bed confused on what to do, i can't believe this. i need to go apologize to finn. i need to talk to him.

i stand up and go out of my tent, i walk over to finns tent. he's still awake. "where's raven?" i ask, 

"getting water. what do you need?" he says, "i wanted to apologize. for earlier, i didn't mean it. i was upset, and i saw him. i figured he would get my mind off of things. and then i saw you and got mad again, i'm sorry about everything i said"

"you're right i have a girlfriend" i sigh, "finn. i don't care about that, i care about you. what happened between me and bellamy only happened because i wanted to get my mind off of you, and it only solved that issue for about 10 minutes at most. if i could take it back so you wouldn't hate me. i would"

"kaleigh, i don't hate you" he mumbles, "i really really like you, i do. and it sucks our situation right now, it does. but like i said the other night, i don't know how long i can pretend to not love you" i stare at him. 

"what?" did he just say he loves me. after i just had sex with bellamy he says that? "i love you kaleigh" 

what have i done. "i should go, before raven gets back" i stand up and walk out of the tent, i see raven walking back and she stares at me. i walk over to clarkes tent. i feel tears in my eyes. i messed up, i messed everything up.

"clarke" she's not in there, i walk over to the dropship. "clarke!" i say. i walk in and see her, "hmm" she stands up. i look at her. "i messed up" 

she walks over to me, "what are you talking about"

"i- i had sex with bellamy, and then yelled at finn. and i went to apologize and finn told me he loved me, and i just mess everything up" i say starting to cry. "come here" she pulls me in for a hug as i sob. "what do i do?" i cry. 

"i don't know, i don't know"

"he has a girlfriend and he just told me he loves me. after i slept with bellamy and yelled at him for getting mad at me" i cry, "shh. shh it's ok"

"i fucked up" i sob. "no you didn't" she pulls me back, "you are just trying to live. just like we all are, you did nothing wrong. none of this is your fault"

"i slept with bellamy, just too distract myself. that is my fault"

she shakes her head, "no. it's not. none of this is your fault, you did nothing wrong i promise you" 

i look at her as i start shaking, "i don't know what to do anymore clarke, i don't- i don't want to be here anymore"

"kaleigh, breathe. ok calm down, and breathe, everything will be ok. you'll get through this, i promise"

"i want my mom" i sob. "i know, but i won't let you leave us. not like that, not over some stupid boy. i need you to breathe ok. in. and out" i breathe in and breathe out.

i start calming down, she wipes my tears from my face. "good, now go get some rest ok?" i nod. "thanks clarke"

"of course. anytime" i hug her and she hugs me back, i pull away and walk out of the dropship. 

i walk over to my tent and go lay down and try to fall asleep.

...

i walk out of the dropship next to finn. "don't tell me you don't like unity day" i say looking at him, "unity day is a lie. the ark only came together after the 13th station was blown out of the sky, just not the version we like to tell people at parties"