Strangers

harmful words

we get back to camp and i help Bellamy out of the rover. Gina comes running up, she hugs him and he winces. "i got him from here thank you" i nod and she takes him away from me, i look at my father. "i'm gonna go wash my hands" 

i walk over to the ship, i walk inside and head to the mess hall. i see the sink and walk over to it, i grab the rag and turn on the water. i start scrubbing my hands. "so what was that?" i hear someone say, i look and see my father. i turn back focusing on my hands, "what do you mean?"

"i don't want you getting back into anything with Bellamy" i look at him, "i'm not?"

"that car ride said other wise"

"he has a girlfriend" 

"that didn't stop him" i sigh. "what are you saying?" i ask. turning to look at him. "i'm saying, if i didn't get your attention, something would've happened. and he hurt you once, i don't want him hurting you again" i chuckle. "you think he can hurt me?"

he nods, "that can only happen if i have feelings for him. which i don't" my dad looks at me, "i know you kaleigh"

"well. not well enough because i don't have feelings for Bellamy. now i have to go" 

i walk past him and see atlas. i walk over to him, "hey atlas" i say smiling, he smiles back. "how are you?" i ask, i haven't really spoken to him since mount weather. "i'm ok, and you?"

"i'm good" 

"so what did you need to talk about?" i shrug, "i don't really know. just needed to get away from my father" he nods, "well i'm gonna go" i smile. "ok"

i walk away from him and see jasper, i walk over. "hey" i say. he looks at me, he doesn't reply and i sit next to him. "so you're just gonna ignore me now?"

he sighs, "what do you want kaleigh" 

"are you ok?" i ask. i'm worried about him, he's getting worse and i don't know how to fix him. "i'm fine" liar.

"no you're not" he looks at me and scoffs, "and how would you know?" 

"because i know you. and if you were fine, you wouldn't be drinking yourself to death and smiling when someone's cutting your throat" 

he sighs. "i miss her" this time i'm the one sighing. "i know. and i'm sorry what happened, she was a good person" 

he nods. "an amazing person. and she had to die for it"

"no one likes what happened, but it was their people or ours. they had to make the tough decision, now they have to live with it"

"i'm sorry she's gone, but jasper. i'm worried about you"

he scoffs. "don't be, we all know Monty was your favorite friend" i look at him, "jasper, you both were my best friends. my brothers, and you killing yourself hurts me. it kills me to know that you want to die and you're ok with someone killing you" 

i let out a deep breath. "when you and Monty were both in mount weather i was so scared that i was going to lose you guys. and seeing you harm yourself every single day, jasp. it kills me to see you like this" i say, he looks at me. "well i wouldn't be like this if they didn't choose you over maya"

i stare at him shockingly. "what?"

"they chose you over maya, so now you get to live a life with people you love and maya doesn't"

"i didn't ask for them to save me"

"no but we all know why they pulled that lever. because your more important then maya right?" i just stare at him, "what no?"