Call On Me

14

Lan Zhan and I took refuge in the old cave. It already had some old furniture so we made use of it. There was an open space so we created a fire. I really needed it. Though Lan Zhan gave me his outer robe, I was starting to get cold again. So I sat near the fire when it was made. I eventually took off Lan Zhan's robe and gave it back to him.

"You could have kept it," he said.

"No need," I said.

"Then let me put the enchantment on your robes," he said.

"Back at Xuanwu's cave you flipped out when I stripped in front of you. You are basically asking me to do that again?" I asked.

He shrugged. I couldn't help but laugh. Though I felt that his gesture was nice. So I took off my outer robe and inner robe. Lan Zhan even took my tunic. I was now just in my trousers. There were things on my body that I wasn't expecting for him to see. The whip marks from Zidian that day Lotus Pier got destroyed, they still linger. The scars are still very visible. I had a couple that fell on both of my arms too.

I then saw Lan Zhan look down at my arms near my wrists. They were covered in old bite marks, "I got these when I was a child. I fought wild dogs for food a lot as I lived on the streets for a while. As you can see, scars were left behind," I told him.

"And that one?" He asked, pointing at a bit mark on my left arm closer to my elbow.

I grinned, "you left that there when you bit me in Xuanwu's cave," I told him, "I didn't say anything then, but you actually broke through my skin. Now I have a permanent bit mark from me...I don't mind though."

"Sorry," he said. I noticed his ears were turning red. He was...blushing.

I sighed, "you don't need to apologize. I am the one who should apologize for my behavior," I said, "though I'm still confused by your actions, I know how annoying I can get. No need to worry about it. It's just another scar."

"Do you not know the reason why I did it?" Lan Zhan asked.

"I just thought you were upset with me," I answered, "all I really asked was if you Liked MianMian."

"I do not like her," he said.

"Do you like anyone?" I asked. He was silent. I sighed once more and stood up. I put my robes back on since he finished enchanting them, "never mind."

I walked away from him. I walked further into the cave just so I could have some time for myself. Deeper into the cave it was starting to get darker. I pulled out a talisman and used it as a light. It lasted only for a few minutes but it was enough time for me to look around. I found an open pocket and entered. The cave walls were then higher up and covered in some sort of glowing substance. It made the cave look like a clear night sky. Like I was looking at dozens upon dozens of stars.

I saw that inside, there was a flower bed and a small pool of water. Those flowers were actually what I was looking for. I gently picked one and put it in my Qiankun pouch for safe keeping. It will also not wither and die as it will keep the flower fresh and alive. All that was left was that peach blossom tree on top of some mountain.

That mountain was on the other side of the burial mounds and not many people have ventured that far. Mostly it was probably due to fear or some other similar reason, but I am not afraid and I am not going to back down now.

After taking a flower, I found a spot on the ground to sit for a while. I used this time for myself to think. Lan Zhan's behavior...when we first met, he couldn't stand me. He was so similar to his uncle in how he felt about me. It seems that after the whole trip with the Yin Iron, it changed a little bit.

I didn't mean to make him angry at the archery competition either. I didn't even mean to take off his ribbon. I do remember reading about the ribbon in his sect's principles, but it all seemed to slip my mind. So much has happened to me since then that I never even had a chance to think for myself.

Now that I was on this trip to get ingredients, it has me thinking back on things. My treatment in Lotus Pier. It took me until now to realize that I was never going to be accepted by them. I was always hoping for it but when those last words from Uncle Jiang and Madam Yu repeated into my head, they told me to protect THEIR children. Not once did they take the time to leave any concerns for me.

I knew Madam Yu would never accept me, but what hurt most was Uncle Jiang. He knew what his wife was and he subjected me to her for all those years. I love Shijie, and I know she isn't strong enough to help me with Madam Yu, but both her and Jiang Cheng could have easily stood up for me. Neither of them did. They allowed it too.

I started crying when I realized that I could have left Jiang Cheng to suffer. I gave up my golden core for him and he doesn't even know. Wen Qing has been more of a motherly figure to me than anyone else. She might not have wanted to do the surgery but she did it, and since then, she has been there to help me. She found a way to help me use spiritual energy for a short time. It also helped me heal from that surgery and my body has been trying to recover from that loss of power.

I didn't realize I had walked back to the main cave where Lan Zhan was until I heard him say my name. He stood beside me and took my arm, "are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm only now realizing that I was never loved in Lotus Pier. I am getting more care from Wen Qing and her village than I ever had from the Jiangs," I answered. I could feel the tears falling, "protect them with my life, that is what both Madam Yu and Sect Leader Jiang said to me before they died. That was their last words to me. Not once did they tell me to take care of myself...I am on this quest to get ingredients to get back a piece of me that I gave up to save someone who doesn't even know and even possibly hates me. He blames me for what happened to his sect and his parents. Not once has anyone ever really looked at me and asked me if I was okay. Wen Qing did but now that I'm here, I'm thinking about how alone I really am."

"You are not alone anymore," Lan Zhan said.

"You once couldn't stand me. What changed?" I asked.

"I no longer was afraid to hide behind my teachings, in order to protect me from getting my heart hurt again," he answered, "I was afraid of being close to someone after my mother..."

I nodded in understanding, "I found the black lotus flower," I told him taking it out of the Qiankun pouch.

He nodded in return, "we can continue on our journey in the morning. It's getting late."

"How can you tell? It's hard to tell how much time of day we have left," I told him.

"I was raised to sleep and wake at a certain time every day. I can just tell by my body's reaction," he said.

"I don't know if I ever thanked you for helping me since you found me again," I said.

"No need to thank me," he said, "I am more than happy to help you."

I nodded. He soon grabbed my arm and pulled me over by the fire. I didn't realize that I was getting cold again until I was next to the heat. The robes can only keep me warm for so long. Lan Zhan was actually very kind. As much as he and I had our issues in the past, it seems that he really was trying to make it up to me. I was willing to really give him a chance.