Wedcuffed

Chapter 56

Adrian's POV

T.W AHEAD

Therapy was supposed to help. That's what everyone told me when I finally agreed to go. "It'll help you work through your feelings," they said. "It'll help you understand what's really going on." But the truth was, every session seemed to leave me more confused, more frustrated, and more convinced that Sarah was slipping away from me, and there was nothing I could do about it. Therapy had become a routine, but it felt like a bandage on a wound that was too deep to heal. Each session left me feeling raw, exposed, and yet no closer to finding peace. The therapist kept telling me that it was okay to feel what I was feeling and that it was normal to struggle with letting go, but none of that advice seemed to touch the core of my turmoil.

I cared about her. That was undeniable. But I also knew that what I felt was twisted, and distorted by my own insecurities and fears. Every time I saw Sarah with Alessandro, it felt like a knife twisting in my gut. How could I just stand by and watch them rebuild what they had? How could I accept that she chose him over me?

My therapist told me to focus on myself and to let go of the things I couldn't control. But how could I let go of Sarah when she was the only thing that mattered to me now? I tried to convince myself that I could be her friend, that I could be in her life without wanting more. But every time I saw her, every time we exchanged messages, that desire flared up again, stronger than ever.

I knew I was spiralling. I knew I was losing control. But I didn't know how to stop it.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Sarah. I imagined her with Alessandro, laughing, holding hands, being the perfect couple that I once thought we could be. It was like a persistent, gnawing pain that never eased, no matter how hard I tried to push it away. The truth was, I couldn't accept that she had chosen him over me. I kept replaying our last conversations in my mind, twisting them, searching for signs that she might still care, that she might still want me.

The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that I just needed one more chance to show her that we belonged together. The thought consumed me, driving me to the brink of desperation. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't stop the feeling that if I could just talk to her, really talk to her, she would understand.

One afternoon, I decided to visit. I told myself it was to see the baby, but deep down, I knew it was about more than that. I wanted to see Sarah, to see if there was anything left of the connection we once had. 

As I approached the house, a mix of nerves and excitement twisted in my gut. I knew Alessandro would be at work, and that thought alone gave me a sick sense of relief. I told myself I just needed to talk to her, to explain everything.

 But as I stood at the door, I felt the dark, unyielding pressure of my unresolved feelings weighing down on me.

When Sarah answered, she looked surprised but didn't immediately turn me away. That was all the encouragement I needed. I tried to keep my composure, to act like this was just a friendly visit, but the moment I stepped inside, all the emotions I had been trying to suppress surged forward.

She led me into the living room where the baby was playing. Seeing him brought a brief smile to my face, and I bent down to greet him, trying to calm the storm raging inside me. But as I stood back up and looked at Sarah, all my carefully rehearsed words vanished.

"Adrian, what are you doing here?" she asked, her tone gentle but firm as if she was already on guard.

"I... I wanted to see the baby," I stammered, trying to steady my voice. "And to talk. I just needed to talk to you."

"About what?" she asked, crossing her arms slightly, a subtle move that signalled her discomfort.

"Us," I said, the word slipping out before I could stop it. Her eyes widened, and I could see the tension in her shoulders. "Sarah, I've been thinking a lot. I know things got complicated, but I can't stop thinking about our marriage—what we could still have."