Chasing Our Lost Stars [Completed]

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Lek's Confession to Aom

Lek sat alone in his study, the dim light of the evening casting long shadows across the room. His gaze was fixed on a framed photograph on his desk, a picture of a woman with kind eyes and a gentle smile-Aom. His fingers traced the edge of the frame, a small, sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Aom..." Lek's voice was soft, almost a whisper, as if he was afraid to disturb the stillness of the room. "It's been years, but sometimes it feels like just yesterday that you were here. I still miss you, you know. I always will."

He sighed, his heart heavy with memories and regrets. "I don't know if I ever told you this, but... I'm sorry. For everything. For not being able to keep us together, for not fighting harder to keep you with me. But most of all, I'm sorry for what I've done to our son."

His hand tightened around the frame, his knuckles turning white. "Krit... he was just a little boy when you left. Just five years old. And I... I failed him. I failed to be the father he needed. I tried, Aom, I really did. But I didn't know how to handle it, how to be both a father and a mother to him. I was angry, hurt... and I took it out on him."

Lek's voice trembled, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him. "I thought sending him to boarding school would help. He was so out of control, so full of anger. He lashed out at everyone, even me. I thought... maybe if he had some distance, some structure, he'd learn to control that anger. But all it did was push him further away from me."

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed as he remembered those years. "When he came back at eighteen, I hoped things would be different. But he was still so angry, so distant. I wanted to reach out to him, to pull him close and tell him that I loved him, that I was proud of him... but every time I tried, he pushed me away. And my pride... my damn pride wouldn't let me try harder."

Lek's eyes opened, staring into Aom's picture as if seeking solace. "I know I've been too hard on him. I know I've called him names, said things I shouldn't have. But Aom... he's so much like me. Stubborn, full of pride... and so damn hard to read. Every time I tried to connect with him, it felt like he was slipping through my fingers. So I did the only thing I knew how to do-I tried to discipline him, to teach him right from wrong. But I see now... I see that all I did was push him further away."

He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "You'd think I'd be better at this by now, after all these years. But the truth is... I'm lost. I don't know how to fix this, Aom. I don't know how to get through to him. I want to tell him that I love him, that I'm proud of the man he's becoming... but every time I try, all that comes out is anger and disappointment. I can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at me... he thinks I hate him. But I don't. I could never hate him."

Lek's voice grew quieter, more reflective. "I see so much of you in him. The way he carries himself, that fierce independence... he's got your spirit, Aom. And I see myself in him too. The anger, the pride... those are my faults, the ones I passed on to him. I just wish... I wish I could find a way to reach him, to make him see that he doesn't have to fight me, that we could be on the same side."

He sighed deeply, the years of pain and regret etched into every line on his face. "I know I've made mistakes, and I know he resents me for them. But Aom, if you were here... what would you do? How would you make this right? How would you make him see that he's not alone, that he's loved?"

Lek sat in silence for a long moment, the only sound the ticking of the old clock on the wall. Finally, he looked back at the photo, his voice thick with emotion. "I'm sorry, Aom. I'm sorry for not being the father he needed. But I'm not giving up. I'll find a way to fix this, to make him see that I care. Even if it takes the rest of my life, I'll find a way."