I'm not sorry

16

Alex

"Alex I need you to finish this essay so  Zahra will get off my ass!!" My sister says to me as me and Henry are cuddled in my bed "no I'm dying" she rolls her eyes "you seem find to me" I fake cough causing Henry to snicker "Henry you're not helping!!" She storms out and I laugh

"What's the essay about?"I look at him and smirk "can't say it's a secret" he sits up and climbs on my lap "a secret? We don't have secrets rememberrrr" I nod "it's not actually an essay, that's a code name" he nods "what for?"

"Something for you" I whisper and he sighs "Alex what?" I sigh "it's about getting you away from your grandpa" his body stiffens "oh"

I brush the hair out of his face and he melts into my touch "nothing is happening without your permission I just had some ideas" I reassure him and he nods "what's the plan you have in mind then?" He asks me "well I actually have nothing so far, I'm just so worried for you baby"

He frowns and I kiss his lips until it turns into a smile "I'm okay, and I'm going to be okay" he tells me "no, you're not."

I know he doesn't want to talk about it but it needs to happen "I'm with you, Okay? 100%" "please talk"

"Alex you can't stop him, there's no way of stopping him. Trust me I've tried." He gets up and closes my bedroom door and comes back into the same spot he was before

"I know you want to protect me but you can't, no one can. I know how to deal with it and I know how to deal with grandpa" his face softens as he sees me visibly upset

"I just don't want you to go through that" I let out a chocked sob and he wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me in "I love you" he says "I love you more" he shakes his head "doubt it" I look into his eyes and that's when I realized

I'm in love with a prince

And we may never be able to come out

And I might never be able to save him

"Alex what are you thinking about?" I bite my lip "we should come out" his face goes pale "what?" I nod "it's insane I know but listen, if we come out then your grandpa has no choice but to accept it! And then we can be happy and free together" he gets off me and scoffs

"Do you not realize how fucking stupid that plan is? Granpa would kill me! Literally would murder me and act like he only has two grandchildren" he stands up and starts pacing

"I can't come out, I won't and I don't want to!" I sit up "why! Why not?!" We're both a little worked up now

"Because I am not aloud to be gay for gods sake! You know this!!!" His eyes have gone cold

No longer warm and welcoming "but we're together?" He scoffs "no we're not! And we never can be"

"You said you loved me" I say "yeah, I also love my dog Alex" my mouth drops "leave" I say "what?"

I look at him in the face and shout "LEAVE! NOW I WANT YOU GONE"

My heart is shattered "why are you being so dramatic Alex! It's a word!" I glare at him and shake my head "get out of here or I swear I'll call security" I can tell he regrets what he said "but I don't want to" he whispers causing me to get up and stand face to face

I whine at the pain in my foot and he try's to reach for me but I push him away "if you don't want to go then say it" he nods "I don't want to go" I roll my eyes "no, not that" he furrows his eyebrows "then what?" "Say you're sorry"

He shakes his head and begins to gather his stuff

"You're leaving really? ITS TWO WORDS HENRY" he shoves past me and opens the door

"WHY WONT YOU SAY IT" I plead "because I'm not sorry." He slams the door and I fall to the floor

I crawl over to my window and sit up slightly to look out of it

All I see is Henry getting into a car and driving off. It's two words

Two words

Two

Words

It's just two words