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KITTY HADN'T TOLD ANYONE OF her plan. Not Mikey. Not Sugar. Not either one of her brothers. And certainly not Ben. She had only left him a note. With two words on it, 'Fuck you'.
She looked out of the window. Watching the clouds beneath the plane. Looking like soft pillows. When she was a kid, she had always wished to reach out and grab them. To see if they were truly as soft as they looked. Now, as she stared at them, as an adult, they represented freedom. A freedom from the pain that she had tried to ignore.
She let out a tired sigh and looked down at her lap where her hands were positioned. Her fingers fiddling with the array of silver rings she wore to occupy herself with. Doing her best to ignore the bruises littered across her wrists. But she found her eyes straying to them one too many times. And whenever they did, her chest felt just that little bit tighter than before.
She could feel a lump in her throat. And forced herself to look up at the small monitor on the back of the seat in front of her. A map of the journey on it. Only an hour left before she would reach Chicago once more. Until she was back home. To her true home. Not the home that was promised to her with sweet tasting lies.
She turned her head to the side when she felt eyes on her. The older woman sitting beside her seemed to have noticed the marks on Kitty's wrists. Her eyes glued to them as if she was being hypnotised by the map of fingerprints scattered across Kitty's skin.
Kitty's whole body stiffened. Without hesitation she pulled the sleeves of her hoodie down. Hiding not only her wrists but also whole hands and fingers from anyone's curious gazes.
The woman snapped out of it. Her eyes shifting to look up at Kitty's face. Her eyes filled with a look of sympathy that Kitty hated being looked at with. It made her feel small. It made her feel like a burden. Like she should suck it all up and just get on with life. Because as bad as she had it, someone else had it way worse.
The woman opened her mouth, looking as if she was about to say something. But before she could even make the tiniest sound, Kitty snapped her head in the opposite direction, so fast she wouldn't have been surprised if she had gotten whiplash from it. Her eyes once more staring out at the clouds. Her hands were clenched in fists underneath the safety of the hoodie sleeves. Her teary eyes also away from where anyone could see them. She didn't want sympathy. Especially not from strangers on a plane. If she had wanted anyone to know, she would've spoken to her family about it. But the last thing she ever needed was anyone finding out. Stranger or not.
She didn't move from that position for the rest of the flight. Her eyes on the clouds. Her mind completely lost in space. Her heart shattered in pieces in her palms. Wondering if she would simply toss it or if she would try to reassemble it. But for now, she would simply hide it away.
