Whiskey, On The Rocks

twelve

Travis

Taylor stared at me, eyes wide and pouring with tears, her chest heaving with frantic breaths. She looked terrified of me, and there was no trace of the sweet smile, the soft eyes, the trust that I'd seen last night. She was scared of me. 

And rightly so. I knew I shouldn't have kept that video, but I kept all records of people we brought in and out. I'd just never imagined Taylor would find it. I never expected her to even find this room. Normally I kept it locked, but I'd been distracted about the fact that I was taking Taylor out and I'd forgotten this one time. The one fucking time.

"What did you do to me?" Taylor whispered.

"Kitten." I reached out for her, not knowing how to explain.

"No." She stumbled back a step. "No you don't fucking touch me. You tell me what the fuck is going on here." Taylor wrapped her arms around herself. I stared at her for a long moment, trying to decide what to tell her.

"Kitten I'm sorry." I whispered. "I didn't...God." I sighed. "The day you came for your trial, some dangerous men came and you overheard things you shouldn't have. I took you to the compound to erase that from your mind because I never intended to get close to you and I didn't want you part of that world because you might get hurt. But then...but then I got to know you kitten." I stared at her, silently begging for her to understand. I knew how awful it was, but I never thought she'd see that video. "And I'm so sorry I didn't tell you but I never thought you'd understand why I did it." 

Taylor shook her head, and I could tell she didn't accept that. She didn't trust me anymore, and rightly so. But that hurt like absolute hell. She didn't know how much I needed her. Taylor didn't know it, but she was everything to me. I'd never let myself have those kinds of feelings for anyone, but Taylor was so different. She was full of life, and my heart was hers. 

"Take me home." Taylor whispered.

"What?" I blinked.

"I want you to take me home." She said, her voice a little more sure. "I want to go home. Travis how could you do that to me? How could you look at me and know you took away part of my mind? I can't be here right now." 

My heart broke, but I knew I deserved it. Taylor stood there crying in front of me, wearing nothing but my shirt, and she wanted to get out. But as I watched, she turned to look at the computer, biting her lip as she thought. Then she turned towards me.

"No, I changed my mind." She whispered. "I want you to take me back here." Reaching out, Taylor touched the computer screen. "You can erase memories here?" Slowly, I nodded. "Take me there." She said. "And take yourself out of my memories."

"What?" I blinked.

"I want you to erase everything to do with this." Taylor waved her hand around. "You, this whole fucked up this. I just want to be normal and I don't want to remember what you did to me."

"By asking me to do it again?"

"Yes."

Taylor had stopped crying, but her bottom lip was trembling like she was close to breaking down again. It hurt so much to hear her ask that, but I knew I'd do it. It was what she wanted and I knew it was for the best to have her out of my world. She was in danger just by being with me, and I knew that. I'd been selfish to let myself feel for her.

"Okay." I whispered, my voice cracking. Taylor nodded, looking down. "If that's what you want." 

"It is." She mumbled. "I'm going to get dressed."

With that, Taylor moved past me and rushed up the stairs. I listened to the sound of her rushed footsteps fading away, and then my head sagged down. A single tear ran down my cheek, but I quickly brushed it away. I cared about Taylor so much that I'd do anything she asked me, even if it broke my own heart. I deserved this. I fucking deserved it.