Bad Boyfriend

Grey

Phayu gives Rain a ride home later that day. And Rain would be lying if he were to say he didn't hug Phayu a little tighter, using safety as an excuse. He savored the ride instead of getting anxious with every swerve and, in fact, he wished for it never to end.

Because, it's true, Phayu still cares about him. Maybe...he still loves him. And the fact that he came running when he heard Rain collapsed and that he's taking Rain home himself to make sure he's safe is proof.

But that doesn't mean he's forgiven him yet nor does it mean they're getting back together.

And that makes this ride somewhat bittersweet.

Still, even the wild wind feels like a soft breeze and the sunset is more beautiful—all because they're together. If only Rain knows how to put this feeling into words, maybe Phayu would know what he means to the boy.

Maybe he would stay.

Rain lost someone important to him today—his best friend.

It still hasn't sunk in. He still can't wrap his head around it. But all he knows right now is...he can't lose Phayu too.

At least, not without giving it one last shot.

After he dismounts from the bike and hands the helmet back to Phayu, the latter tells him right away, "Go inside. Make sure to get lots of rest."

Albeit begrudgingly, Rain nods and slowly turns around. But then, he pauses, his hands balling into fists as he wills himself to say his piece.

Finally, he turns back to Phayu with a mildly stubborn expression that Phayu missed more than he cares to admit.

"P'Phayu, I lied to you and you have every right to be mad at me." He utters breathily, biting back tears because he wants to handle this maturely for once. "I lied about writing that letter to you. I lied about having feelings for you when we started dating and, it's true, I still liked P'Pai back then and planned on breaking up with you."

Phayu averts his face. Only his eyes are visible due to the helmet but they still give him away—how deeply cut he is. It makes Rain resent himself so much more but he soldiers on because Phayu deserves to know this at least.

"But I didn't lie...about going into architecture because of you. Even my mom told you, remember?"

Phayu stiffly nods.

"When I told you I won't study with P'Pai anymore, I meant it. It was the first and last time and, the whole time, I thought of you. That's actually when I knew.

"And I didn't lie when I said I love you...because I really do."

Phayu's lashes are now wet with tears he refuses to cry. He wants to forgive Rain so badly and just move on but the noises in his head won't let him.

"I know that doesn't make it okay." Rain rasps. "But...won't you reconsider? If after sometime, you still feel like you want to break up, I'll do as you say. But just please...please reconsider."

He's not too proud to beg.

And to this, Phayu meets his gaze despite himself and tells Rain, "Okay, I will." The boy's heart nearly leaps out of his chest but...

"But you need to let me figure this out on my own, Rain. Can you do that?"

Rain nearly breaks down but he holds it together; he's not about to guilt trip Phayu into taking him back. He bobs his head with more force than necessary and chirps with forced enthusiasm, "I'll give you your space this time." He promises against his will. "Call me anytime...when you're ready."